Back in Thailand!

My last night in Vientiane was very interesting. Sor invited both Jane and I out for dinner, which was both awkward and enlightening. First of all I found out who her ex-boyfriend was. I think that she wanted explore without loosing her option of going back to him. This theory explains her actions very well. I have a general tendency that if someone is mean or otherwise not good to me I distance myself from them and let them be. This was not what she wanted. I had to interpret her pushing and pulling not as a go away/stay indicator but as a "this is how close I want you. no. to far. no. to close" This highlights a central problem of friendships across language/cultural barriers.

After dinner we went to a gay bar. It was practically a hallway with a stage at the end. We watched a drag show and danced. It was allot of fun. Sor and I drank for free. I thought it fairly normal. Small bars always have favorite people that get free drinks and perks. I was surprised however when we went to Don Chan and didn't pay the cover, and drank for free. This is the biggest nightclub in Laos and I just walked in like I owned the place. Cool. We met a girl that liked Sor and he suggested a threesome. She can't be with him without me, I can't be with her without him, and he can't be with me without her... Weird huh? The problem was she did not like me at all. She started to try to dance with Sor and I decided to have some fun. I pushed her out of the way with enough force to say, I'm the boss here. Sor and I started dancing and he knew the plan already. In sync we turned to look at her. She was green. She tried to butt in and I pushed her out of the way again. Presto, she is all over me! Time to go out side and chat. First I noticed some beautiful Lao girls trying to ditch some lame and aggressive white guy. I took it upon myself to run interference. I "made friends" with said man and talked him away from the very grateful women. When I got back to my party Sor was called off on business and his girl pulled me over to some corner to make out with me. We were followed by two boys. They pulled down my pants and she put her toung in my mouth. I did not have a good feeling about this. I pulled up my pants and went back to the party. Sor was a little sore and asked me if I enjoyed it. I didn't. Before long Sor took me home. We had a good conversation about the meaning of life, the universe, and everything... Then I went to my room, he went home. I forgot to lock my door and woke up alone, without my Itouch that is. Ouch, well what ever. My next thought was"OH SHIT!" and I started frantically searching for my passport. To me this highlights a central point in my life. I don't really care about stuff... I care about quality of life. I enjoy having things and using things, but do they make my life enjoyable? An mp3 player can not. My passport on the other hand is both my key to worldly freedom and my lifeline to my friends and family. It is now the single most important thing that I own. Any other object I can think of would not be worth fretting about, let them come and go. Of course I should have locked my door. That was not as they say "skillfulness in action".

The journey home was quite smooth, yet eventful. I took a tuktuk to the bus station, paying more then I should have. Then instead of the bus I took another tuktuk to the border, again paying more then I should have. I felt like I was on a greased rail out of town and I was not going to put on the brakes for a few dollars! On the way to the border I met a nice Danish gentleman who asked if I was Swiss, the third person that week. Anyway, I quite liked the fellow so I kept him entertained with a constant stream of bullshit. My other option was siting there, quite like on an elevator, a really long elevator going all the way to the border. And I can be quite entertaining if I do say so myself ;). My new friend became a great asset as I reached the border. Not only did he show me where to go and tell me what to do, he paid all my fees and bought the next bus so that I didn't have to stop at an ATM. I was an asset to him as well. Since I knew where he had been and where he was going I met all the people he needed to get the info he needed to do what he needed to do. It turned out that we were going to the same place. I could get a cheap direct flight to Chiang Mai from Udon Thani. I would pay the taxi while he would buy the next bus ticket. A greased track I tell you! It all came to a screeching hault at the Udon Thani airport. I arrived 10 min late to buy the only flight of the day... I called Mike and he said the bus trip from Udon was a nightmare so I decided to buy a ticket for the next day. Johnathan flew out after lunch and I was on my own. The Song-tau driver I met going into town let me sit in the cab with him, a fact I much appreciated after the back began overflowing with Thais. He knew very little English but I found out he had 2 daughters a son and that his wife had died. He shared his water with me, which felt very brotherly. As I drank it I did not touch my lips to the rim and thanked god for hepatitis vaccinations, just in case. 3 Thai women got in the back with a cute 3 y/o girl. The little girl would occasionally bang on the window to get my attention and then play coy. It was sooo cute!
That brings me to an observation about the young children here. Two things you never see are a child with a lone ragged mother when there is a child there are usually 3 women with it. The other is a grumpy whining baby. They don't seem to hide children away like they do in the states either. They are just more behaved. Speaking of children. Whats up with the way adults act in the states? They act like children. I have never seen a Thai person lose there temper or get snotty with a waitress or cashier... A daily event in the states. I would guess maybe it has something to do with the way the children are raised.
Back to the story! After being dropped off at some seemingly random street corner in Udon Thani I checked into the first hotel I found. $7.50 and it had AC! Checking in highlighted the Lao/Thai contrast once again. The woman checking me in exemplified Sor's words,"Thais have sweet mouths but sour asses." Everyone I talk to agrees that Lao is friendlier (Kristen even shared that the men are more attractive). After talking with the first Thais Jonathan and I encountered after crossing the boarder he commented "were back in Thailand alright". I asked him if it wasn't already 5 degrees hotter? He agreed and tried to explain why, a fruitless endeavor.
Sorry for the tangent...
Next on the menu was an Internet cafe. I saw an old man on a push bike chariot who offered me a ride for "two baht" I reached into my pocket and pulled out "2 baht" he looked horrified! I pulled out "20 baht" and he laughed about that for the whole trip. "2 baht, 20 baht,2 baht, 20 baht" he repeated for the next 5 min. Very nice guy, maybe a little crazy. I felt sorry for him for the bike he had. He could not reach both peddles at the same time, this made the ride very slow. I gave him "22 baht" and we laughed again. After reading some email and writing a lengthy response I discovered that the server had crashed and I lost everything. The woman who owned the place explained and then asked "Are you done? 15 baht." Oh, and if "they" (you know, the Thais) give you something that tastes awful, don't expect to get your money back for that either. Not that I am bitter or anything :) I got home and lay down. I was not going out! I was going to sleep early and catching my flight! Actually, I was not going to sleep early. Every time I was almost asleep my neighbor would start playing racket ball or something... I don't know why these hotels have a habit of putting my room right next to the game room . To add insult to injury I had a bad dream...

There was an evil super villain looking guy and he was kidnapping a beautiful young woman. I am not exactly known for heroics but there was nobody else there. I boldly told the man to make like a tree and leaf so that I could make off with the girl. He was having none of it. He took his super villain chemical potion and poured it over my head. My face began to melt and blister and bloat. I was in agonizing pain and turning into a monster . The lesson of the dream I have thought about many times. The only prejudice left, well, the only fully sanctioned prejudice is the prejudice of beauty. For years I have felt guilty about one time when I was talking to an extremely ugly person and I was feeling "Get Away! I don't want to look at you or be seen with you!" He was in the course of a short conversation becoming very attached to me. Obviously starved for conversation and attention. I found a convenient excuse to leave, but now 5 years later I still look back on that day with great shame. On a regular basis I notice in myself and in others a tendency to treat people according to looks first, even if it is subtle enough to deny. I see it with men towards women obviously, but also towards men as well. Women are the same. That night I lived it. When the police saw me not only did they think I was crazy, they began to harass me. They pushed me around and then tried to make sexual advances toward me. Upon waking I could not understand this. But after reflection I could see that they could do anything they wanted and nobody would believe me. I walked the streets and everyone turned away. I was helpless and alone. Life sucks huh?

My flight home was pleasant. The hostess was gorgeous and the highlight of the trip was flirting with her. It was a short flight.

Chiang Mai!

Since this has been a very long post I will finish tomorrow.