So Busy!

I am going to cheat here. This is an abridged email that I sent to Merrin my first week here. I would like to write more, but I spend all day at a computer for work. I don't want to spend my free time anywhere near a computer! I can't avoid it though; I am using Rosetta Stone to learn Chinese, on top of the classes I take twice a week, but language is the most important factor in my life right now so it must be excused.

I had a dream last night about living at New College. It was more of a slightly fictionalized remembering. I am not sure why the characters in the dream were who they were, but it was remembering the feeling, and the feeling was what the dream was about.

I woke up and laid in my bed and thought about my life and how lucky I have been. Thought about how and why I was who I was. Then I thought about 'Karma'. Now that Communism has collapsed here the economy is thriving but the poor people aren't doing so well again. There is a lot of homelessness, and I don't think social services are so good. In the US I never give poor people money. Here the poor are not just poor in spirit but actually destitute, with no possibilities of getting better. 'Karma'. I can not know why, and I can not change it.

I thought about dad and what I know of his life and where he is now. I felt so much peace and sadness. I am so happy that we are doing well, and doing things that he can be proud of. I think that we have become everything he could have hoped for and more.

Then I thought about the future. Holding onto what I have valued and moving into the future with freshness.

Yoga has given me so much. What was it that created that 'me' who lived with no thought of the future or past. Can I have that intensity of presence and a normal life? I don't know what 'yoga' is even though I have been looking at it for 10 years! Now I will start practicing martial arts. It has been the Buddhist yoga of the far east.

I got up. My hot water is still broken. I washed my balls and arm pits in the sink, spiked up my hawk, did 6 sun salutations and took off for work. I walked to the food stall under the foot bridge and threw my money into a bucket. If I am their only white customer or not they still recognize me. I don't know if they had my breakfast ready for me or if it was a coincidence, but I did not have to wait for them to make it, only heat the parts and put it together. I get an egg filled pita type bread with some sauce painted on wrapped around a piece of lettuce and some mystery meat. Two of them only cost 7 kuai, about 1 dollar. No words were exchanged until I left "xie xie" (thank you), "bu ke qi" (don't worry about it). That's about all the Chinese I know at this point any way. Pleased as anything I smiled as I walked to the subway station. I love the subway, and hate it. I love it because it is so cheap and useful. I hate it because it is an hour of my life to and from work. I don't know if it will bother me by the end of the year, but right now I think it is funny how crowded it is. I get to the station and race to the train. Rushing around and jockeying for position. When you get on the train you have to push and shove so that people will squish together and you do not get smashed by the closing door. I was tempted to try to lift my feet from under me to see if the pressure from the people would hold me up... I didn't. When the train starts and stops we all move like a wave and if you are up against a pole or wall you get squished. I really need to get an MP3 player so that I can listen to Chinese lessons on the train. For now I meditate and do energy practices. It is good because I am very out of practice with both, especially the energy practices. I have just arrived at work. Someone came in and was introduced. People clapped for him and I didn't understand what was going on. Now that my personal emails are taken care of it is time to do some work. I have to write a "What's Up" column for the web page. It is not very good, or serious. I am going to try to get rid of that task. Nobody who lives here would use it and we might as well send potential au pairs to useful sites so that they can get a full range of what is actually happening. Aside from that I have some interviews to asses the English of potential outbound au pairs and my personal project to attend to. Oh! I get to listen to music at work here! I put in headphones and dance in my seat and nobody cares! Using my computer is a pain in the ass though. I can not read the words in the menus etc. They said they would fix it last night but it is the same, all Chinese.

China!

Life has been busy! Writing this I wish I had kept up more. I can only brief the past 6 months when so many interesting things have happened. So many thoughts and experiences. So many people I would like to introduce. This will have to do.

The end of my stay in Alaska was a lot better then the begging. It turns out that I like office work just fine and that I liked the attitude in the office better then on the boats. After a month answering phones I moved downstairs to the front counter. That was great. I could interact with people again! I liked it better then the boat work even, except for the fact that I was no longer on the water. The best part was the camaraderie.

Outside of work I started going to Resurrection Art Coffee Shop instead of the mountains every day. I met a few really great people. Most notably Brianna and Jo who would become my adventure partners. Brianna and I took a surprise train trip to Anchorage to sleep in a cardboard box and hitch hike back the next day; and Jo came back to the lower 48 with me.

The weekend before leaving was the Seward Music Festival. I didn't expect much but much to my surprise it was pretty awesome. Great music and a great scene. Best part was that all the tourists had left for the season so most everybody knew everyone else. The most notable band was the "Flying Hearts". I was chatting a very pleasant vendor when they started. Punk! I excused myself and walked over to the stage. When I arrived I broke into a hysterical fit of laughter that lasted for the entire rest of the song as I watched this kid scream into the mic. He was only 9 years old but Wow what an amazing voice! The audience was not as impressive. I think I was the only one who had ever been to a punk show before. They stood around nodding their heads at best.

After the festival I hopped into an RV with a few other people and rode to Anchorage to pick up 2 more. We were a motley crew: Jo, the young ex-morman artist; Jonathan, the middle aged traveler; Isaiah, the party animal; Emily, the hot teacher/massage therapist; Philip, the fisherman; and me. We had an incredible 10 days drive through Canada. The stop off in Haynes AK and meeting Marion and Sarah was the highlight.

I spent a month in Washington. I can't tell you how much I loved it. I think that when I move back to the states I will move to the North West somewhere. Maybe Port Townsend? To much happened for me to write about here. I had a perfect month. Everyday was full and beautiful. I was on the phone with Carlos one day at Evergreen State Collage, "I am still doing the same thing I was 10 years ago! I am living in a closet and partying with Collage kids." I was staying at with Dave Crager. Dave is like a younger punker version of me. We have the same taste in music, women, and fun. He drinks a little (lot) more then I do though. Dave, Uma and I got drunk and had a dance party almost every night! That was only about a third of my time though. I also partied in Seattle with kids my own age and relaxed in PT when I needed a break. I stayed up all night my last night in Seattle with Ali, the sister of Bri from Alaska. We biked around and scavenged dumpsters, made beer with Garth, and talked about politics and philosophy until I had to go. In the morning I went to the airport and passed out. I woke about 20 minutes after my plane left... Fucked. The next day I finally made it out. The plane was delayed 6 hours but I did make it to

CHINA!

Working again!

So I kind of dropped the picture/poem/blog thing when I broke my foot eh?

Whatever.

I since my last post I have hardly left the apartment. What have I been doing to stay happy?

Oh, so much!

First thing, possibly the most important, is having Bob around. Friends are gold. I have a few other friends around here that I am appreciating daily as well. Most notibly Nicky and Orion. I spend a lot of time with Orion, mostly conversation over tea or dinner. Then there is Nicole who is so proactive about organizing games. Slowly getting to know and love the others as well, we have 12? total in the building.

Aside from hanging out I have been reading a lot, playing with the ukulele, playing go, doing yoga and learning basic Japanese. Shogun is an incredible book, I could write about my experience with it for days I am sure. It got me interested in going to Japan so I started learning Japanese. With the amount of time I have put into Japanese so far I think I could be almost conversational in Thai but I feel as far from speaking Japanese as when I started. I think I am only going to finish the level one course and move on... At least I want to be able to be polite to Japanese travelers. The music is hard. Go is hard. Yoga is hard. When I think about getting better at these things I feel overwhelmed with everything. I feel the lack of direction in my life and the lack of accomplishment... At the same time I have done so many things that I would not have been able to do if I had focused myself. I am happy about that. Life is to short.

Since I don't want to spend a bunch of time at the computer right now but I want to finish this I am going to do something different. This is an abridged chat I just had with Mike Jones.

Michael: Hey hey Daniel: hey Michael: Jimmy and I are in Bkk (bangkok) Daniel: sweet! :D for how long? Michael: 2 weeks Daniel: I started my first office job yesterday. it's interesting. office work is all about communication. There is nothing involved but communication, odd thing is that it's all done with a computer, which communicates much more then a person could. Michael: wow do you like office work? Sent at 8:03 PM on Wednesday Daniel: I have very ralely felt so stressed in my entire life. it's amazing really Michael: lol are they working you hard? Daniel: no, it's totality chill. it's just being confused and not moving at the same time... Michael: right it must be stressful for it to be such work every time you want to get out of your chair Daniel: ? oh no it's not that so much. just the actual act of sitting in a chair at a computer doing something confusing is stressful. It makes me want to move around and take breaks... especially the veiw from my desk... Daniel: a parkinglot with interesting things always happening and a mountain in the background. Michael: what's happening in the parking lot? sounds sketchy Daniel: it's not. Mostly tourists. My favorite today was a guy fawning over a hot girl. Both dressed to go to a club or something. Being all cutesy and kissing her, in the middle of the lot. Then they walked to a minivan where an older couple (grandparents?) were waiting for them. I guess you would have to be there... Michael: hehe okay, bangkok belly just hit bye!

The urgency of this moment gives me life

freshness to explore and love and appreciate

all of the gifts of my life.

The myth of Freedom. or Falling from heaven.

Flying through the god realm!

after so much work, and cunning

Oh, watch out for that rock!

Confusion, denial, grasping...

I am a man

Heaven and hell

are just around the bend.

http://buddhism.about.com/od/basicbuddhistteachings/tp/Six-Realms-of-Existence.htm

If I always feel alone

and so far from home

I feel, now, so much more

surrounded by beauty and light

If I have fallen from heaven

to course along this beaten earth

I will follow the easy way

River bed.

Isolation and Love

Alone and gray, out to sea all year.

Spring time comes and even the puffin

gets dressed up for love.

Dandilion

Bitter and lovely,

though scorned

you offer so much.

Fallout

Even now,

after the "fall of communism",

we can start to see Marxes dreams

materialize.

Watch your step.

These days.

How often does your mind rest

in silence? Do you feel your

body? Do you know that

everything is OK

Aloneness

Dose a tree feel alone?

With it's roots in the earth

Maitri

I have so many friends I have never met

or may never meet again

Friendliness is my friend.

From one day to the next I am countless beings

In one moment as well.

I make friends within myself

and even they come and go

as I come and go.

Memories

Look were everyone else has and see something inspiring, and unique as

the individual who has paused a moment to realize that when observing

a tree, or a rock, we see, in our minds eye, only what we want to see,

or what we have been told is there, and if we could look beyond

the apparent reality we create, we might catch, if only for a moment,

a glimpse of the true face of god.

I was looking through my old poems. Wow. Memories. I wish I had all of my old poetry but only some of them survived. Mostly from my depressive times and my drug times. After I sobered up and I was studying Sufism I destroyed them all. Merrin had saved some, that one was from highschool.

pride.

Imagine a sea lion, on a rock.

He looks something like a potato.

Now imagine 10 of them on the rock,

relaxing.

One guy crawls out of the water and starts barking at the others.

Pushing them around, letting everyone know who is boss.

ROAR ROA...

Like a big ferocious potato.

The mind is like water.

You have heard that the mind is like water?

Wavy, reflecting distorted images.

The "actual" stuff always ends up falling in

like bits of truth (90% hidden)

melting slowly away.

Anatma

Anatma - The rock is as much a self as I.

I drew the face on the rock.

Who drew the face on me?

After glaicers carved this island,

for ages water pounded the beach.

Charcoal, from where? washed ashore.

I landed, was advised but wondered.

The sound of waves and a sea breeze.

I saw the rock and smiled.

Duhkha

Duhkha

To live we need thorns.

With tough skin on strong hands we take what we deserve,

Hunger and thirst consume us - we feel - so restless.

Our soft hearts locked away in a cage

to beat alone...

for a little while.

Whale watchin' rap.

I spend my days in resurrection bay searching for whales an' watchin' porpoise play.

I may be over worked. I may be under paid, and customers complain if the boats delayed,

But the expanse of sky is to expansive for the I.

It brings me comfort and ease and leaves my mind at peace.

Ridein' waves and up along the cliffs Puffins nestin' lookin' mighty spiff.

Peering down and out from 'mong trees Eagles restin' lookin' for some fish.

The sounds of gulls and the ocean rolls, the wind and the rain - I love.

All things I see they come from the sea and share in the life that flows in you and me.

I could go on, another verse to the song, another cycle in the cipher could not be so wrong.

Every single day while were on our way I see another seal and wonder what is real.

Form is emptiness and yet you can hear. We create with our minds - theres nothing to fear.

Come play with me if you like to be free. I rest in the present cause the end is always near.

Man Overboard!

Man Overboard!

There once was a man on a boat.

If he fell over 'twud sure be no joke.

But he should be not scared,

for we were prepared,

By 'Ol Captain Chris - that jolly old bloke.

APAD

Karma

The mountains are white.

I can't understand this life

or flowers in bloom.

Alaska!

I am sitting in my apartment in Seward, AK. The apartment is provided (for a small cost) by KFT (Kenai Fjords Tours) the company that I am working for. I have been here for about a week now and I am enjoying it.

A day in the life:
I wake up, stretch and massage myself for about an hour, and eat oats which Bob makes every morning. Then I read until time to leave for work. It's about 5 minutes from door to door by bike. Once I get to work I look at the "ouija board", the ever changing chart of destiny. Then someone tells me that I am late and tries to explain how I should have known to be there at X time and I tell them what I was told the day before and they tell me not to worry about it that everything is in a state of chaos and turmoil right now. I've gathered from the regulars that it only gets more chaotic as the summer goes on. I don't mind. I get to the boat and after a walking talk around the boat I usually start cleaning something. Then I start making chicken wraps. Then I greet people onto the boat. "Welcome aboard, watch your step." Of course I have fun with this part. There is something 1/3 annoying, 1/3 fun, and 1/3 strange about having basically the same interaction with 100+ people in 5 minutes. Every one out of 10 people or so is remarkable in some way and I am sure to make a remark to those people, relationships begin. After I do the life vest demo... Oh wait, it's not a life vest, in no way should the name of the vest suggest that it will save your life. It is a personal flotation device, it insures that you will float. After the PFD demo we pass out lunch. Then we stop to look at something, usually doll porpoise. I like to hang out on the upper back deck usually. I watch people watch the critters, I also watch the critters. I am not to excited about the porpoise and whales though. What I love is the landscape. It's amazing, and framed by the water and sky... We ask people to be seated and take off again. Then people start getting sick, one or two, they will be sick for the rest of the trip. Then we stop again, maybe a whale? More sick people and the first ones have puked by now. If I am lucky no one pukes on the carpet, an average day they will only get it on the outer deck. Cleaning the outer deck is not so hard, but time consuming and silly. We use a gallon of water and we pour it onto the deck bucket after bucket until we wash it all away. There has to be a better way. After I walk around and pick up trash from lunch, my job is pretty much just puke detail for the next two hours. Unless we go to a glacier the day continues like this until it's cookie time. If we go to the glacier and I have time I may walk around with some glacier ice and chat with people, take their pictures with the ice and what ever. If it is busy we just set it down for them to look at if they want. Cookie time is great, for about 30 minutes the entire boat smells like cookies, even outside when we are cruising at top speed. After cookies we dock, "don't lose a finger", and clean the boat.

That's pretty much it. It's usually rainy and cold, which I am well prepared for. Most of our guests are pretty cool, some times we have some pretty grumpy ones though. I don't mind. One of the guys say's that he like the grumpy ones because he thinks there funny. They are funny sometimes but mostly they hardly even register on my affective scale. One, or even a few people, who I will only know for a few hours aren't worth much energy unless it's positive energy. I am just happy that I don't have to go home and be them. I guess I am perfect for customer service in this way. If anything I feel sorry for those miserable people. We had one woman who wanted her money back before we even left the dock! If there is one supper grumpy on every other tour there are 3 or 4 super fun people on each tour. Yesterday there was a little old woman who after getting sick and puking straight away felt great the rest of the trip. She was so positive in a kind of unassuming farm girl kind of way. I let her use my mitts so that she could stay outside more, she spent almost the whole trip outside in the cold wind. From now on I am bringing a bag with extra gloves, a scarf, and a rain jacket. I will get a hat for it too.

The company is pretty cool. The housing is awesome for the price, they gave some of us free bikes, they are pretty chill in the office, most everybody is jovial, our uniform is of a high quality and though some people don't like the style I think I look pretty sharp in it. We get discounts all over town. It's a small town. We have a grocery, a hardware store, a discount store, two coffee shops, few restaurants, and a ton of inns. From any point in town you can look to the mountains and be in awe at the beauty. The nearest big town is Anchorage, the largest city in Alaska. It is about the size of Naples FL. It's a cool town though it seems. It has a strong Go club, exctatic dance, swing dance, and who knows what else... I only know about these things through the internet. We only got to spend a day in Anchorage. We went to a few thrift stores a nice cafe. Met some nice people through couch surfing who invited us to a sauna. It was divine. If now was a week ago I would write about the nice people, the beautiful sauna house that they made and sell and maybe some thing I learned about the native or swiss traditions and... whatever... I am tired now and I need to wake up early to practice before work at 8am. :)

Good night. :D

Here are some pictures :D
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=420502&id=695860537&l=58066473db Canada.
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=420521&id=695860537&l=4171216255 Alaska.

Canada!

We left Fargo on Monday and it is now Friday.
Where did the time go? Driving.
Bob does most of the driving. At first I just sat in the passenger seat either meditating, talking or sight seeing, but after so many days of constant driving sitting like that wrecks the body. Not like long hours of sitting cross legged wrecks the body... That causes pain for sure, maybe more pain, or maybe it's just the lack of distraction that makes it so intense. Sitting on a cushion with a straight back hurts, but it leaves me feeling strong. Sitting in a car makes me stiff and it is difficult to breath fully. I am used to long car rides so I already knew what to expect, but this is the longest, most prolonged trip. We drive all day with few stops and well into the night, or all night. This is not the way we planned it. At first I was upset. Both Bob and I had rough a rough day on tuesday into wendsday night. We drove all through the night, it was only my second time driving and I only drove for about 4 hours. In the morning, we were both feeling much better as if we defeated an enemy in the night. I have thought many times on how much I learned in relationship with Jaz. Most importantly right now is how to be patient, to remember that Bob does not want to hurt me, that he would try with all his effort not to hurt me and that he is also uncomfortable. So far we have not had any interpersonal problems. Occasionally Bob will speak in an aggravated way but, impressively, he has not projected that on me much at all. I think I am pretty much in the same boat. I get grumpy but I know that it is just being uncomfortable. We have also tiddyed up the back of the van so it is easier to go in the back to move a little or lay down on the seat to rest.

Now I am sitting in the passenger seat looking at the Canadian Rockies. The grasses and shrubs here are astounding. There are patches of snow in the mountains around us. The sun is warm through the front window as we drive west. The sun will be in our eyes for hours. Though the sun does go down this time of year it doesn't get dark.

Last night we stopped at Liard hot springs. We pulled in around 11pm and sauntered on down the boardwalk, through the marsh, to the springs. The sun had just gone down but you could still see clearly, like a clear full moon night. The springs were perfect. Bob was teasing me and I was worried that they would be luke warm or even a little cold. It was my first time to hot springs! I am never going to pass up the chance to go to hot springs again! After an hour or so of soaking, sitting under the water fall, and chatting we were exhausted. I crashed out in some bushes and slept like a baby for a full 6 hours. Bob had set his alarm but thankfully he slept through it. Bob requires less sleep then I do. He gets sullen when he is tired or a little crabby but it doesn't seem to bother him much. Not waking up on time means that we may end up driving through the night again to land in Alaska before morning. Either way we were in for a “nighttime” boarder crossing. Let's hope the American guards are more lax then the Canadian.

We left Fargo fairly late in the day. We only got most of the way out for North Dakota by the time we stopped for the night. We pulled into a small truckstop in the middle of nowhere. There was a nice patch of trees to sleep in and I woke to rain on my face. I woke Bob and we prepared to go. The van didn't start. After some diagnosis Bob decided that it was the starter and we needed to get pulled to start up and that if we didn't let the engine get cold we wouldn't have this problem anymore. This meant not stopping for more then an hour or two at a time. We got someone to pull us around and Bob discovered something wrong with the throttle cable. He fixed that and the second pull started us up. Unfortunately Bob stalled the van immediately... Karma neh? We had an easy time of getting help to that point but now no one was there to help. I wrote a blog post as Bob walked around and solicited help. I felt sorry for him. It has been difficult for me but I have no strong attachments here. Bob has so much invested. I could hitch off at any time and probably beat him to Alaska. This I learned from Jaz, “I didn't come on this trip to be comfortable, I am here because I love you.” I had to much attachment and aversion with Jaz to live that truth fully, but I saw it fully.

We did make it away and into Canada. We were stopped and interviewed at the border. The van was searched lightly. If they were looking for drugs, which we did not have, they would not have found them. The officer in charge was pretty cute. When we walked into the office I was startled to see her. Something about the uniform, the bullet proof vest obscured her form but attracted me none the less. Well, she let us into Canada mentioning our low funds and old vehicle. I am happy I exaggerated how much I have in the bank a little.

Right inside the boarder there are a bunch of oil refineries and strip mines. It seems that as they dig instead of making one big pile they make lots of small piles. It looks really cool imagined myself walking around in them little hills. “There like scale model mountains!” I exclaimed. “With GAINT trees” Bob laughed. That was the joyful beginning of the hard day I mentioned before.

I woke up the next morning after a 3 hour nap in the back of the van feeling like I had the best sleep of my life. Bob replayed the Radio Lab episodes that I had missed while I slept and we had great conversation. Towards the late afternoon we arrived in Edmonton. We asked the first guy who walked by where a good coffee shop was and he directed us towards The Carrot. They where closed so we made a few failed attempts to find some food. Compactors everywhere. We made our way back to The Carrot. When we came to the door the girl there asked if we were working? We said we wern't and she said they were still closed. Her comrade had not arrived yet and she was not allowed to let anyone in until they were both there. I kept talking to her and she gave up, her boyfriend was there and she rationalized that that would be good enough. It turns out that we were in the shady part of Canada. I did see a few crackheads, but I would never have thought that it would be considered dangerous. She agreed, but said that many of her friends were afraid to go to that part of town. Interesting. The Carrot, as it turns out, is a volunteer run coffee shop. Our new friends, whom I don't remember their names due to my high degree of sleep deprivation at the time, had never met the person who was to be coming for work that day. After checking in with the world of internet Barista, Bob and I settled in for a game of Settlers of Catan. It was Baristas idea and she won. Bob and I were only half there, Bob less so then myself. We left shortly after the game, with 3 new friends and refreshed from social stimulus.

Back on the road, for the first time, I felt unsafe with Bob's driving. We filled up on gas and were delayed by Bob's card not working. A quick call to his mom had the whole thing straightened away in no time. I could just imagine her screaming at some poor soul for shutting off the card. If you are a tele-support person she is the terror that lurks on the other side of the phone.

It was my turn to drive and I drove a good distance before pulling over to nap. I remember when I was 18 working in construction and driving to Sarasota on the weekends to party. I would get 4-6 hours of sleep those weekends and drive 4 hours home. I only had to learn my lesson once, and luckily it was not a hard lesson. I nodded off and woke up to the sound of gravel flinging up under the tires, twice, then on the third time I had left the road! I swerved back on the road hard and lost traction on my back tires and fishtailed all over the road for what seemed to be an eternity. I remember clearly the drastic change in alertness I drove the next hour fully awake. Curiously, right about the time I was starting to feel safe, just before getting home I began to feel sleepy again. Anyway, I decided not to do that again.

We were getting into the boonies. Near the border Canada is just like the northern USA. Well I guess it's pretty much like the USA all over so far. Little difference like Kilometers instead of miles, blinking green arrows, little things ey.

It's now past midnight and the sky and mountains are incredible.

Chicago to Fargo!

Neither Bob nor I remember that first night after Chicago. I think we both slept in the van. Bob has a hammock that he hangs and I usually sleep in the bushes.
OH! I REMEMBER!
We were at a rest area. I forgot to mention that before leaving Chicago we found over 20 pounds of avocados on our way out of Chicago! After cutting away the bad parts we still about 10 pounds of Guacamole! We pulled out the jar of salsa that Bob's mom gave him and some chips and ate Guac all day. It was all I ate that day, Guac, Chipolte salsa, chips and slightly stale bread. It was glorious! In the evening we stopped at a rest area to streach and play. We set up Bob's new slack line for the first time. It was great, I was not excited about getting back in the van. As we were readying ourselves we noted a faint persistent smell of dog shit. We checked our selves well, but I was still fairly certain it was on me. It turns out that it wasn't, just that the entire area smelled of it, ambiently. Just before taking off a prostitute showed up with her John and we found a drip under the Van. We fretted for quite a while before deciding that the drip spot was not from us and that we must have parked on top of the leak without noticing it. It was only a few hours later, I was just falling asleep in the passenger seat when Bob pulled over to rest. He got out to strech and smelled the diesel from the cracked fuel line. The same fuel line we just replaced. We GPS'ed a hardwear store and cautiously drove to it. I was not in the mood to scout a hidden campsite in down town BFE so I laid out in an open lot and went to sleep.

I was awoken the next morning by a drunken indian. “You OK man?”. “Yeah.” “You old enough to drink?” “Yeah.” “Will you go buy me something from the liquor store?” “What? Your not old enough to drink?” He obviously was, maybe in his late 50's or maybe just a hard 40. We got to know this old drunk well. His name was Jude and he had hitched in to town to go to court, a day to soon.

This just in LIVE from the road Quote of the day. “Daniel:I wonder what that is? Bob:Chuch, that's my guess... Maybe a movie theater.”

Bob had got some epoxy and tried to patch the small crack in the line. We would have to wait 6-8 hours so as Bob napped I walked around town, listening to music and playing with my energetic field and currents, spinning and spiralling, jumping, jolting, and throwing the flowing sense of potential to the beat of Mat and Kim. I walked around town, met some nice people and found a river to read by. When the sun started to come down Bob and I played a game of Go and I put up a blog post.

I slept that night in a well hidden alleyway and woke up to rain on my face. I ran in the early morning to the van and slept the rest of the day away. I was looking forward to another nice day in Mahnomen, MN but the next two days it just rained... Bob and I slept a lot, making up for the lack of sleep on the road, and played go in the library and the Casino. The Casino is huge, well, it's not that big really, but it's bigger then the downtown itself so it Seems huge, in context. The second night Jude and his friend Greg drunkenly came by the van and tried to impose their hospitality on us. We agreed to come over to dinner the next night and had a surprisingly nice time along with a nice simple meal and a shower. I slept the last night in a storage room of an abandoned house that had a small leak in the roof so I set my tarp above me. Much to my dismay my tarp, which I used for almost every night for 6 months and sporadically for the rest of last year was... Suprise, suprise... Worn out. I am happy that I chose to sleep in the room. If I slept only with that tarp I would have been soaked through. Bob had been trying to get a hold of his parts dealer to no avail and very dramatically at the last moment before Bob spent all of his extra money on the part and spare from a dealership, he called. Bob had literally just picked up my phone to make the call. We were shouting from joy in the library. The librarian was happy for us and didn't scold us. She was a substitute librarian. The regular librarian, Lois, was on strike after her boss had been ever so disrespectful. We liked Lois. When I first went to the Library I noticed that she offered Coffee so we brought some coffee to donate. Lois is on Couch Surfing.com so if you are passing through you should look her up.

We had the brilliant idea to tow the van to Fargo, ND both to get the parts a day earlier and to get out of Mahnomen.

Owen offered us his couch in a large house with 4 roommates. It was cold when we arrived so as Bob finished up with the tow and got the van in the driveway I went to the house. A very gay man opened the door. My gaydar is not that good but the look he gave me was unmistakable. I smiled knowingly and came in. Two more very gay men were waiting inside. After some chit chat Bob and I started cooking dinner then settled in to watch the Amazing Boosh or something like that. It was hilarious and after a few hours of laughing with the guys and side conversation I felt perfectly at home. The party was starting up so Bob went out to the van to sleep and since I knew I would not be sleeping for quite some time I asked Andrew to make me a drink... The party was pretty great. Andrew and I played Go in the smoking room as drunkards wandered about. Andrew had tried to learn go before so he picked up the basic lessons quickly. I was sitting on the arm of a chair and and Owen sat in the chair and though I moved my legs out of his way he put them on his lap. I moved them again and he moved them again. I thought for a moment and checked in with my feelings, laughed at him and relaxed. Before long I was happy that Owen was there. All of a sudden I was in the center of the party. People would come to pay their respects to Owen and I appreciated his way with them. He was as Bob noted a natural born Concierge. And the few cute girls in the party who had been ignoring me, as I had been them, came to find out who I was. I never understood homophobia. First of all, if you are in a mixed room say 8 dudes, 12 gay guys, 4 cute girls 3 other girls your odds of getting laid are good. Most of the guys are not in competition, and if they like you they can do a lot to help you. Secondly, I guess the worry is that they will hit on you. Two things here: first of all you can feel flattered, and secondly it is good to see how much men objectify sex. I think that from spending time with gay men I can understand how a woman feels when I want to have sex with her and she doesn't feel that way towards me. I feel like I may have written this before but it this has made such a profound impact on me. Anyway, back at the party, all of a sudden the lights go off and everyone is screaming. A few minutes later the lights come back on, and off and on, off, on, off and on. I found out later that someone had stolen the fuses. This was probably to avoid attention while they were stealing Owens laptop and a 3ft statue of the Eiffel Tower and my jacket, with $40 in the pocket.

The next day we met with Molly, another couch surfer, for coffee. The Raven is a typical used bookstore/ coffee shop. We went to the only health food store in Fargo's dumpster. And as we walked back home Molly picked up pigeon feathers for her hair. We made a great lunch and while Molly went home Bob, Andrew, and I played games. Molly came back with her roommate Mary. There was a game of scrabble as I danced. After the game Mary danced with me and I ended up crawling up on her shoulders. You can see the pictures on facebook. She is a small girl with a big fro. It was a great scene.

The next day we went to Space Aliens Bar and Grill. Wow. One of Andrew friends recognized Owen and gave us a bunch of coins for the arcade. When we got home it was raining. Unfortunately canceling my biking plans with Molly. We all sat around and causally watched “The story of O” as we did other things. I hoped that Molly and Mary would come over but they never did. I have, for the most part, stopped masturbating. I had not noticed much effect until this day, both Moly and Mary are really cute. When I gave a massage to Molly the night before I felt very erotic which is not unusual for a causal massage at a party setting. The strange part was how often I thought about her the next day. I felt sad that she didn't call and I wanted to call her. A few weeks ago I would have called without any thought. What could be the problem? If she is attracted to me then 'fireworks' and if not then we enjoy ourselves in other ways. So why didn't I call? As I see it there are three kinds of fasts. One, DON'T DO IT. Two, only do it in a particular way. Three, don't do it or not do it. The third kind is the most tricky. What is doing and not doing? Who is doing and where does the doing come from? What does this have to do with sex? If I am arrested with ambivalence then I can watch without intentional action. I can watch habitual action and habitual responses to desire. Anyway, she didn't call. We took off the next day, I was feeling a little sad, “it's hormonal” I told Bob. One of the reasons why I am exploring my sexuality in this new way is because of how much I associate my sexuality with self worth. It makes sense in a way and it seems very common, but not all pervasive. What are the conditions of that? I want to be happy and if I should look into this. I practiced vippasana and contemplated my experience and cheered up. There was nothing to be done. May as well be happy.

Chicago!

I couldn't really say that I was disappointed with breaking down in Chicago. The plan was to spend two days in Chicago and shoot over to Boulder, CO. I would have loved to stay a week. it looked like we would be there for 4 days. I have never been a fan of weekend visits to places I have never been. . I was disappointed that we would no longer have time for Boulder though. Every time I have to rush around for some reason I say that I will never do it again, that life is to important to hurry, but at the same time I don't have the foresight to avoid it it seems.

It took about 20 minutes to drive to Tristan's. The only notable event was driving by a chocolate factory. Oh My God. It was Divine. The most delicious smell of brownies that completely overwhelmed the smell of diesel in a half mile radius.

At Tristan's we met with Scott, Megan, and Dylan and shared pleasant and stimulating conversation over a pipe and a case of beer. In the dark. Dylan had forgotten to pay the electric bill. It reminded me of when Crystal and I decided that we were not going to use electric lights at night. I find candle light to be nice and though I don't think my night vision is better then average I feel very comfortable from camping so much. I remember, while living at the Hostel in the Forest, how I would often lead people down trails at night. I could not see much but I learned to trust my feet and look between objects instead of at them. After Bob went to sleep Tristan and played a game of go. Tristan was my primary go teacher and is still one of my favorite opponents. We always play long games. We played with a 3 stone handicap and I won. Tristan talks to himself while he plays, and for the first time my reading was good enough to understand what he was talking about and to talk with him. I was very proud.

I woke the next morning with a call from Bob hurrying me down to the coffee shop. I don't remember what was so important, nothing perhaps, but I didn't take the time to enjoy waking up. The coffee shop was remarkably pleasant. The owner had a more then friendly disposition and I felt more then at home. Tristan and I started another game of go, and played until lunch time. We stopped at the apex of the game. Tristan had just made an annoyingly good move, my position that I was so happy with was then thrown into a quiet chaos. I would have to start a large fight in order to win. Go is like life, sometimes, after all of your effort, when you think that surely you have come to your stride, your starter doesn't work any more.. In go, it can be said that you don't play against your opponent. That's why we have handicaps. When my opponent makes a good move I can be happy for him, although sometimes I am to disappointed in myself to share in that happiness. Every move in go should have many purposes. Tristan's move did. First I had to respond to an immediate threat, which I did. Next I had to consider my lost territory. I might have had enough to win... But he could pick at me for the rest of the game taking 3 pts here and 1 point there... I would lose for sure. I needed to find something big. I had two options and I couldn't read either one out. I tried for the one that, if I failed I would not lose as much. Sometimes optimism is nothing more then waiting for the unknown. Maybe, like in the last game, he would misread something that I could read well? After my first attempt failed my second ended in total disaster. The conclusion of the game waited for the evening, we were to meet Scott, and Emily for Lunch. In the end I failed to read a self atari and had to resign
But lunch was great!
Hot Doug's is a hot dog stand with a gourmet twist. Bob was interested only in the duck fat fries, the rest of us got one of the specials. We each cut off bites to share and Hot Damn! Hot Doug's is surely some of the best, most original food in the country.

After lunch we went back to Scott's to talk and when Emily left for work we went for a stroll downtown. Scott is a natural born tour guide. For hours we walked and for hours he talked. We went to many of his favorite spots, my favorite being “the bean” It's a big bean shaped mirror thingy. We played there for a while and watched people before I got the idea to do acrobatics with it, playing with my reflection. There was a photographer from Istanbul who took pictures, she said that she could send them to me when she returns home in June. Aside from the bean there was much freeganing which Scott enjoyed as much as Bob and I. The day ended at a birthday bar crawl. I really just wanted to dance, but the only place that our friends knew of was a hipster hotspot with less dancing then meat marketing. Meh. Now, it may seem odd to those of you who met me within the past 3 years, but to those who have known me for longer can understand that the rampant sexuality of the past few years was not “normal” for me. Now my exploratory interests are more creative, and though I enjoyed the past few years immensely I am not going to be pursuing sex for the sake of sex anymore.

Highlights from the rest of the trip include meeting a crusty punk who was casually looking for a ride and going to a Gamelon. The gamalon was everything I could have asked for and more and the the punk was fully Crusty. Anybody who remembers how much I smelled when I was 18 has some idea. I am sorry for that by the way. We picked her up while we were dumpster diving. After many false starts we finally found a good dumpster and got 2 full boxes of assorted foods. The best were the raspberries and cheeses, more practically were all the eggs, onions, potatoes and tomatoes. We through Jamie in the shower and fed her at Scott's house but she still smelled something feirce. The funniest was when we were talking about looking pitiful being really useful for getting people to help you. I said I used to carry a pitiful looking change of cloths for just that purpose but have now changed that to a clean change of cloths. She said that she doesn't look pitiful on purpose... Bob and I exchanged a knowing glance. 'that means you are pitiful'. I felt sad for her, I thought of the Tao Te Ching. I wanted to give her tips on how to travel more comfortably but she has been traveling for almost as long as I have and she is committed to her scene. Better not come off as condescending. After listening to her stories (all a little negative) and smelling her for long enough we decided it was time to go home. I asked Bob to lie to her about getting an offer from someone with gas money so that we wouldn't hurt her feelings but when I realized that in order to leave her with food we would have to let her know that we were not going to be picking her up in the morning. I told her as kindly as possible. She had mentioned more then once that she kind of wanted to stay in Chicago so I did not feel at all guilty.

The next day I played Tristan an even game in go. I was fairly confident because I have a fair board sense and I had thought much about his strengths and weaknesses and thought that I could open in a way that would put me at an advantage. I won or lost by Komi, meaning that if we considered it an even game then he won but if my handicap was not giving him a point advantage for playing second then I would have won. I was thrilled.
After the game we headed off for Seattle, WA.
We drove almost through Wisconsin before we stopped to sleep.

A story of tragedy and woe.

Ahh. The good life.
Bob and I were well on our way to Alaska. Life is good, practically there... Only about 5,000 miles to go!

Out of Elkins towards Parkersburg we stopped at a small town gas station and I put on my stilts... I thought about the rainbows I have seen spanging at gas stations. I thought "surely if they can get around begging for money I could get money for stilt walking and entertaining people"... Mmmmaybe. Bob worked on some things as I walked around and talked with people. I can't beg for money. I don't know if it's pride or what? I tell myself that I don't want to create an attitude of neediness in myself or more sense of aversion to strangers in others. I don't know but I couldn't ask, so I walked around and talked with people took pictures with a family and what not. These people are poor I told myself, wait till you get to a big city. I did make $1. "Five dollars for a picture" I joked. "All I have is a one." "I'll take it!" I hate money. I think this is also why I am not on food stamps.
Anyway, on through anytown USA (I mean Columbus OH) where the police are as thick as mosquitoes in summertime and just as pesky. We did not get to dumpster at TJ's because there were cops guarding it. We did get some cheese out of WFM and TONS of bread, great egg pies, and cookies from Panera's though. The next day is when I officially gave up sweets for the rest of the trip. If your passing though Ft Wayne check out the fort! You can't miss it.
We pulled into Chicago, passing through the southern industrial district. It was like a sci-fi horror scene. And into South Chicago. I had to pee something fierce so we pulled into a gas station on Indianapolis Blvd. A very nice man who was walking by and singing to himself stopped to chat. While I was bathroom he asked Bob if we needed anything. He was offering "weed". "What's that", Bob said. "Pot, grass, Marijuana." he said. "Oh, I've heard of that." said Bob. "We also got that crack", he offered, "it will take you straight to heaven." I came out around this point and he gave me a lolipop, we said our good byes, and we were off.

Putptpt Ptptpt stall... and we coasted into a parking spot.

Awe shit.

We sat there, in sketch town, not knowing if we would start back up, looking at each other. "It's perfect that this would happen now." "Because we are so close to Tristan's?" "No because we are in the gettho of Chicago." I looked around, "Bob has a different sense of perfection then I do." I thought.

The van DID start back up! With fumes pouring out of our engine compartment, crawling towards our destination at a snails pace...

A little catch up

Lets see if we can get this thing up to date.

I left off in New Orleans. The day before I left I spent the entire day in the hospital as my dad had what was supposed to be his first surgury and was gratefully his last. When I got back to Tampa I found out that he had yet another infection. I was once again house bound. That was the plan, a month more of helping with bathing and bandage changing. It was not to be though. The new bandage was practically a bandaid next to the first and it did not take much time to change. After about a week I talked with dad and Marty and we decided that it was not necessary for me to stay. I went down to Sarasota to help Bob with his various projects and to enjoy my friends there.

The projects were of two classes; Van and Nancy's. The van had been bought from a friend who could not afford to pay someone to do all of the work that was necessary to make it a reliable vehichle. Bob on the other hand could do the work himself. “Should take about a month.” I think was the original time estimate. Nancy is a delightful middle aged woman who Bob liked to call his patron. It was a pretty sweet deal. In exchange for food (half dumpstered) and a place to stay (Bob's parents) I would come to Nancy's do about 2 hours of work a day, play my new Ukulele, play in the yard, and hang out with Bob and Nancy. Hanging out often included Ukulele lessons. Nancy is a great Uk'er and both Bob and I got Uke's from her. Mine in exchange for massage along with an old Iphone.

After “work” we would usually hang out with Crystal or Morgan. Local girls who both deserve more airplay but for the sake of brevity let's just leave it alone. Well, how about one fact each. Crystal is an indentured servent and Morgan was planning on coming to Alaska with Bob and I.

Alaska, did I Mention that? (I guess anyone reading this probably already knows anyway.) The plan was to hang with Bob for a month, fix up the van and start on a two month epic road trip to Alaska to work on a day cruise line. The plan went mostly according to plan... Fact is... If Bob say's X time he means 2X time. After about a month I was planning on Hitching out of town. Just before leaving I got a call from my mom saying she was going to do a roadtrip to visit her Sisters and Cousin and that if I wanted I could ride back up to West Virginia with her. Perfect.

We met up in Tampa and after breakfast with both my Mom and Dad (one of the few times in my life I ate a meal with both parents.) we took off! I like my Mom, in particular we travel well together. We both got sick from some pork sandwiches and I got my first speeding ticket. Otherwise the two day trip to West Virginia was pleasant and fairly uneventful. We met with my sister in Beckly and had dinner.

Dinner with my Mom is a strange thing. Mostly in that it is paid for. She knows that I table dive and what not but I don't really do it when she is around. The food at the 'Best of West Virgina' tourist stop was great so when the people next to us left a plate of fish I had to grab it. She (Mom) was obviously disgusted but polite. One of the best traits I learned from my mom is to, for the most part, keep my opinions to myself. She is better at it then I am.

Merrin and I went to Montgomery, West Virginia. It's a small smoggy coal town with a horrendously dysfunctional elementary system, where Merrin worked. If the details were fresher in my mind I would retell the stories leading up to the state taking over the operations and the mass quitting of the teachers. Nah.

I spent my days cooking for Merrin, Studying Go, and toying with my Uke. The week passed quickly, I only left the house about 4 times. Once to go hiking, I had developed a headache from hiking in the smelly, thick air by the time we were done. Once to go to the dumpster, and twice to walk around town.

Merrin and I went to Elkins for the weekend to visit more Family. Christy, my brothers wife, is a CPA and absolutly swamped with tax work, Jack, my brother, works for the forest service and was busy catching up in the office after a weeks buisness trip. Riley and Nevada, the kids, are super busy with swim pracice, soccer, music lessons, etc. My mom and I were chillin. We both have about the same work ethic and sense of time. We hung out around the house and did little projects here and there and cooked for the busy ones. My first night in town I went to a fund-raiser for the arts school program and met some cool people. I enjoy Elkins, slow paced as it is it has a nice feel and allot of friendly people. I think the highlight of the week was playing with the kids on sunday. We climbed trees and wrestled and played tag and what not for hours. Another day I put on my stilts and all the neighborhood kids and I went on a parade through the park. Christy is forming a Roller Derby team so we went to a practice. Nevada had a concert at El Gran Sabor one of my favorite restraints. And just before leaving my moms roof sprung a leak... I was off to wait for Bob in Asheville but I decided to spend only a week there to come back to help Jack fix the roof. The ride there and back was secured, Merrin was on spring break and planning on spending the week with friends in North Carolina.

In preparation of my arrival I got on couch surfing and messaged about 20 people asking to stay with them. Of the 6 responces one said 'if you stay here you have to do some work, anything from sweeping floors to blacksmithing...' Any place where blacksmithing is on the list of chores I wanted to check out! I called but no one answered. I left a message saying that I was arriving the next day and if I didn't get a call back I would find another place to stay. Slightly risky, but I didn't want to confirm with someone else and miss the blacksmithing!

When we arrived at the Montana house the instruction was to ring the doorbell. I could see a bunch of people but I followed orders instead of shouting to them or walking in. It was a trick doorbell. Be warned. This deal was getting better and better. A sense of humor is always appreciated even if the (friendly) joke is on me.

We got the full tour. It had a similar feel to the Hostel in the Forest. The coolest thing wasn't the slack line in the back, the art room, the forge, woodshop or garden... It was the Dog. I think the dog was an old Taoist master who died while meditating on the golden ball of light... Anyway, now it is obsessed with fetch. It will even fetch bowling balls if you roll them down a hill! I fell in love.

The whole week stay was delightful. With Five Rhythms dance on easter sunday I was off to a good start. Every day was full. Full of yoga, food, new friends, old friends, go and other games. Almost half of the people at the Montana House had heard of go and played before! I traded backgammon lessons for go lessons. Practiced massage every day. Worked in the yard. Cooked 2 or 3 meals a day for a handful of people each time. Went hiking with Merrin. Table-dived Chocolate at the fancy place down town. And slept out every night.

After a week of hobo heaven I returned to Elkins. At first I felt sad, but soon I was enjoying family, lone hikes in the woods, and more free time with Jack and Christy. I cooked lunch most days and mom cooked dinner. We pulled 8 or so tires out of the Tygart river where locals deposit anything from oil barrels to human waste runoff. Many wonderful memories that will have a fairly long lasting impact on my life. The most significant one may the 4 bowls of icecream at the 'local feast' that was part of the sustainability fair. I woke up the next morning stiffer then I had felt in years and my morning pee smelled like cream soda. Mmmm... I decided it is time to do a process sugar fast until I can manage better moderation.

Bob arrived on Tuesday night. We ate a late dinner with mom and went to meet Jack at the local beer meetup where some of the finest bullshit artists of the area meet up and pretend they know something about beer... The next morning we packed up, ate lunch with Jack and Christy and took off!

Party Time!

I was so excited when Dad was all better. If it was a purely altruistic sense I guess I would have felt more calm, happy, contented and maybe a little pleased with my commitment and the good fortune that he had recovered. But it was more then that I was thrilled to be free again. I realize that the only freedom that I had lost was my own ability to live fully in my own skin, and that that was limited only by myself. But, facts is facts (even if they are subjective experience) and I "need" freedom and/or community to feel "Right".

So, the adventure continues!

I had promised old friend that I would visit her in New Orleans while I was south this winter. I had planned to go once before and was not able to make it, this year time I figured I would be fashionably late, and just in time for Mardi Gras. My Stilt Dancing associate (Mark Alexander) and I took a week to see the final blow out. When I got there I was confused about who was Cajun and who was Creole. Everybody was excited about the superbole and all, screaming "Who Dat, Who Dat!" And with the floats going by and the copious quantities of beer I couldn't tell What was going on! I could remember though that "Katie is Cajun" that made it easy, and Katie was more then generous with our accommodations. She has a very nice flat in the Garden District she shares with the most charming fellow, Peter by name. And let me tell you, Katie's grandmother must know how to cook, 'cause she taught Katie how to cook, and Katie made the best darn Gumbo I ever had. The food on Bourbon Street was alright too I guess and the crowd was as thick as molasses. Up on stilts everybody wanted to take pictures with us and we'd hav'ta to swat 'em off like horse flies if we wanted to get some peace. But we were there for the attention and we loved it! When we finagled our way into the Bacchus ball that was tops. There were so many pretty ladies there all dressed up with there money, talkin to me, makin their boyfriends faces all red... I couldn't ask for more. And I got announced over the loud speaker, and danced for thousands... Just before getting kicked out. Oh, boy!

So that was New Orleans, mostly partying. I did get to see the city by bike for a day, it's a beautiful city. I think I might like to stay for a few months some time and learn to cook and see the city when it's not crazed. On one hand of course had the zealot on my shoulder yelling things like "This place if fucking disgusting! Look at all this trash! These people don't care for anything! blah,blah,blah." On the other I could feel the spirit of carnaval. I realized that the only thing that has ever brought me any sense of goodness in life has been yoga, and although I wasn't planning on giving up anything for lent I renewed my somewhat dampened faith in yoga. I think of a Tantric story of a boy who visits a yogi king. The boy gets to the palace and the king is drinking and eating meat and there are dancing girls... He is disgusted but, not wanting to offend the king, and because he had come so far he asked for a teaching. The king gave him a spoonful of oil and said that if he came back in a few hours with the oil intact he would give him a teaching...

Tampa

It's been awhile eh?

I have, for the most part, given up on bloging for the ease of facebook. You can get a fair idea of what I have been up to by looking at my profile. For the sake of a narrative and for my Dad, who doesn't use Facebook I am going to write a few blogs here and there.

Quick catch up...

I left The farm in MA on the night of the last freeze. I had just finished a 10 day meditation retreat and was doing lots of yoga with Liam who had moved onto the farm with me. The plan was to start a yoga studio. Dad got sick while I was in the retreat and Merrin was wearing thin taking care of him down in FL so I packed up my bags and headed south.

Mark Alexander, who I had been doing stilt dancing with had a gig in Rockport, MA for peace day. Mark, David Sharp and I dressed up as giant doves and had a pleasent stroll around a park as music played and peace nics layed about. We also pulled out our over sized instruments and joined in on a drum circle. After taking off our stilts David and I danced a Contact Waltz (mixing Waltz with Contact Improv) on foot.

After dinner with Mark I got dropped off at Sam Hollands house for the night and a nice chat about Yoga and Taoism. Nate Walsh picked me up in the morning and we enjoyed a day at the museum and I got to spend a few hours with Nina Smolyar before leaving on a jet plane.

I arrived in FL and the rest of my stay is almost a complete blur...

Highlights include:
Realizing how many of my relationship problems with Jaz were from my bad habits with Merrin and working through many of those.
Spending almost every day at a hospital for 3 months.
Cleaning my dads wounds and taking care of him.
Contemplating suicide for the first time since high school.
Learning about love and commitment and sacrifice.
Finding peace in suffering.
Learning how to live with someone you respect tremendously but have nothing in common with. (Marty)
Trip to see Keith in Miami with Lorilea and Derek.
Breakfast with Ben.
Visit from Talia.
My dad's dog Snoozer.
Learning how to have a community in a city.
The Boba House.
Jerry, Bill, Chaz, Nam, and Adam.
Starting a Go club with John Russel.
Bret, Spencer, Kay, Selly, Steven, and Keaven.
Getting to know my cousin Seth.
The Young Adult Group at the UU church.
Emma- The best girlfriend I never had.
Trips to the swamp with Anna.
Swing dancing with Tom.
Always thoughtful talks with Jonathan Powell.
Wonderful weekend with Michael Silverman and Stephanie.
Bringing my Dad to Sarasota to spend time with Aunt DD and Uncle.
Getting to know my niece Whitney.


I was in Tampa for about 5 months all together so there are so many things I can't cover them all. I could easily write extensively on all of the points above. In brief my stay was very difficult and very rewarding.