Leaving Beijing!

I have not been posting a lot although I really wanted to, because I got soooo busy! Work for a one on one English tutor here in Beijing follows the schedule of the rich business men and students, and although I work “part time” when summer break started I went from 10-12 hours a week to 7-11 hours a day in about a week!

I have made my money, and now I am preparing to leave!
On Thursday, after I get the results of my regular STD tests back, I will take off hitch hiking to southern China! The plan is to spend the next two months spending all of my money, and returning back to the USA happy, relaxed, and poor. This is contingent upon the acceptance of my financial aide for massage school. I hope that comes in soon, because if it doesn’t then I am not going to ‘waste’ my money by coming back to the USA. Although I really want to see family if I can’t go to school, or do some other interesting project in the states I will either stay here in China, or some other Asian country where pay is high and food is cheap.
Going to school will help bring me back traveling in more style. I hope that my next trip abroad will be doing massage on a cruise ship. Don’t get me wrong, I love teaching English, but I feel I should be doing what I am good at… and I am only a mediocre English teacher.

In preparation to leave I have been visiting friends. I went to go visit HuNan (Tiger Man) and buy a tea pot from him. I ended up buying a 100USD teapot. It was difficult to spend that much money on a pot when I could spend 10USD for one that looks so similar… But, I will use the pot for the rest of my life, and I wanted to buy something expensive from him. HuNan’s wife just had a baby, and his shop was closed down without warning. 600RMB is a lot of money in China, and he will make much better use of it then I will.
When HuNan asked me out to lunch I thought he wanted to have a going away lunch for me, but when I showed up there where almost 30 people there! About half of them were Korean, three from Europe, Me, and the rest were Chinese.
As I was introduced to everyone I was so impressed with the improvement in my Chinese level over the past few months, and very thankful that everyone had very easy accents. We joked and talked for hours as we ate AMAZING Chinese food and drank both very nice tea and alcohol. We drank JingJiu, it’s a kind of BaiJiu made in the south of China. BaiJiu or “white alcohol” is a very strong liquor with an all too often very strong and very offensive taste. This stuff was actually fairly tasty, and I drank an awful lot of it. No Problem, I already told my work that I would be coming into my class drunk. After class I invited my student out to dinner with my Chinese friends. One of my work mates saw me and asked about my drunken class in front of my student! He said that he could smell it on me but could not tell that I was drunk! It was amazing because, as I don’t drink often, when I drink I get very drunk!
The only person who obviously got drunker then I did was HuNan. In China, at times like that, weddings, babies, whatever, It is a cultural responsibility to drink heavily, and HuNan was holding up his end of the deal.
After Lunch we went to Karaoke. I would guess that all of you know how poorly I sing? Well, I have steadfastly avoided Karaoke since coming to China, but I couldn’t turn this one down. It was horrific. The German guy could sing pretty well in Chinese. As could HuNan and his sister, both of whom could sing Korean as well. That made up about half of the party. The other half sang almost as poorly as I did.
Thankfully everyone got tired after only a couple hours and it was time to go home. HuNan’s sister said good by (and HuNan and I made fun of her) for about another hour as we stood outside the mall… Finally I went back to my… Oh, Shit. I never explained how I am Couchsurfing in my own apartment did I? Well to make a long story short: I am.
After just a few minutes of resting at my “friend’s house”, I realized that I was late for work! My friends tried to urge me not to go, but it was almost my last class with one of my favorite students!

When I finally take off I will take a bus to the next city south of Beijing to get out of the insanity and then I will try to hitch hike to Tai Yuan City to visit the very same student I showed up drunk for. I always feel a bit of trepidation prior to hitching… It’s the lazy part of me that doesn’t like to be uncomfortable. In China, that feeling is greatly intensified. I know that China will be very safe, but likely very uncomfortable: both physically and mentally.

I look forward to facing the unknown and being present in the way that you only can when you are experiencing something new for the first time…

Sorry this one's so long...

On friends, lovers, and couchsurfers.

Living in a foreign country is obviously going to change ones interpersonal relationships. First of all, depending on the size of the ex-pat community, your fluency with the local language, your desire to spend time in bars (where you can’t talk anyway), and your ability to cohere with the local culture, you may have significantly fewer friends. If you’re a social butterfly this can be a problem (but then you probably hang out in bars, so not really). Alternatively of course, you may be a loner and not really care about friends. I along with most people, I guess I fall somewhere between being a loner and being extremely social, but not being able to talk to be everywhere; on the subway, on a street corner, in every restaurant, etc. has teased out my social side. The way that I have come to deal with this is by having a few good friends (normal for me) and having couchsurfers almost every night.

Ex-pat communities are made of people who for one reason or another are not in the most natural place for them to be. There is a test for English teachers that is probably applicable for anyone applying to be an ex-pat. It’s called the ABC’s of English teacher employment.

Are you:

1. An alcoholic?
3. A Criminal?
4. Divorced?
5. I forget this one too…
6. All of the above?

I guess I say this to emphasize the importance of bar culture… My alcoholic friend just told me this about an hour ago as he was explaining how hard it has been to quit because all of his friends drink.

How does sex and love fit into all of this? In China - It’s a tight squeeze.

In recent history China has been notorious for its strict “traditional” repression. It’s been an almost ascetic place since the beginning of the communist dynasty. Through the early years of the party reign these tendencies were pushed to their extreme, and only in very recent years has the party been more delicate in its attempts to mediate the inevitable pendulum swing towards western mores. Young people are caught in a confusing purgatory between traditional, stable, boring, missionary position relationships and western (modern?), liberal, exotic, exciting, and flexible, though unstable affairs.

I have for the most part stayed out of the issue altogether. I have met and dated a few Chinese girls; but being largely uninterested in traditional relationships I have not gone very far with many. I would bet that a white man who behaves like any rational individual, but has too much time and money on his hands, could have sex with a new Chinese girl every night for the rest of his life. As for me, I don’t have the time or money to spend in such pursuits. My MO really hasn’t changed much, but it has been a far less successful strategy here in China then it was in the US and Thailand.

How do couchsurfers fit into all of this?

Most importantly, couchsurfers fulfill my need to meet new interesting random people on a regular basis. If you estimate that 50% of couchsurfers are awesome passionate people and that 50% of that awesomeness will shine through in their profiles, then by carefully selecting your surfers you have a 75% chance of meeting one of the most interesting people you will ever meet in your life every time you invite in a new surfer! In practice it works out that about 75% of my surfers are such people, so I made up the figures… you get the point.

Now to put it all together:

Although you may find every nuance of my life extremely fascinating, and you may have endless time to pour over pages and pages of my eloquent prose… I don’t have the patience to allow you such an opportunity. So I am not going to go into fine detail.

However, I will tell you of one particularly touching situation, and to get there I will have to set the stage一下。

Last week was my birthday and, as many of you may know, each year on my birthday I evaluate the course of my life and set or reset a course. I don’t know when I began doing this, but a few notable movements in my life relating to this have been: my decision to become homeless, my decision to stop talking, to spend a year at the ashram, and to travel to Thailand.

Some years ago I decided to spend more time focusing on so called ‘worldly’ concerns and a little less on ‘spiritual’ pursuits. The shift here was due to the glaring philosophical conundrum of dualism. My thought has gradually moved to a position of radical non-dualism. Being a yogi, one concerned with the actualization of truth as well as its realization, thinking about philosophy is a next to useless pursuit, because thinking and action should be in concord, and one should realize the other. This ‘non-dualist’ line of thinking has lead me into a slowly creeping neglect of serious ‘practice’. The main causes of this being on the one hand a lack of time and on the other a confusion of priorities. I have learned that every aspect of life has to be cared for and “I am large, I contain multitudes.”

This year I am deciding to move back towards practice, to learn about Taoism, and to continue the pursuit for an understanding of my place in the economic marketplace. Since these priorities are not social in nature due to limited time I was expecting my social life to take sharp blow. On top of these priorities shifts Bryan who has been my closest friend here who I could talk to for hours about anything from Buddhism, to poetry, to politics, just left for graduate school in Texas. Allocating my ‘dinner with friends’ time to practice time seemed like the obvious shift, the problem with dinner with friends time is that it often became hang out for the rest of the night time.

Anyway, Bryan, along with a few other friends and a long term couchsurfer has moved away, and I now have only one good friend living near-by… In my ideal world all of my friends would live in the same building so that I could hang out with them all the time without taking time away from practice, studies, etc. but in this world, in China, it’s not going to happen.

So, I got a new couchsurfer after a night alone. I went to work in the morning only to find out that my class was canceled and when I arrived back home she was in the shower. I always hide a key so that surfers can arrive without inconveniencing me, and often the couchsurfers show up at unexpected times... When she got out of the shower I was Skypeing with Mom and Dad for my birthday. It was the first time speaking to them both in an unfortunately long time. Tanya sat on my couch doing her thing and laughing at me until I finished. Then we talked for a bit before getting lunch. I could tell immediately that she was a very sexually liberated person, and so within the first hour I made a pass at her. She responded in kind and so we made out for a while, but we were both very hungry.

At lunch I invited David to come over to hang out. I had something of his at home, and I thought that we could walk back and pick it up after lunch. Tanya wanted a beer after lunch so we went to a nice relaxed bar to chat and drink. I was not drinking because I find it to be a mostly worthless and wasteful pursuit, unless of course it’s at the rare drinking party. The hanging out was pleasant. I let David do almost all the talking as is my custom with people who are just meeting each other and before I knew it I had to run off to class.

After class I got a call from David, “You mind if I fuck your couchsurfer?”

I was livid.

That night Tanya stayed over at David’s house. By night fall I had already calmed down considerably, but I was still a little upset. I thought it fate that I was alone practicing yoga when my couchsurfer was off fucking my friend! Slowly through asana, meditation, and rational thinking I calmed down and slept well. Tanya came back in the morning while I was doing yoga. We hardly said anything before we where in bed. Only “stupid bitch” and “you’re too cool to care”, are the only words that stick out from the brief exchange. After the best sex I have had in a very long time I had to run off, late for work.

That night Tanya spent the night at David’s again. I asked her why and she said that although the sex with me is better. He offers her the kind of emotional connection she needs. The difference being that we have no emotional attachment to each other and she liked the way that David looked at her, etc.. I think she’s great, but… Maybe the old tired words “I love you, but I’m not in love with you” says it best.

The third night Tanya stayed with me. I gave her a massage and pretty much blew her mind. We cuddled and talked for hours. As far as I am concerned we had the perfect relationship. After getting over the initial sense of rejection I could see that I was getting everything that I wanted, and so was she. It was magic. I had my space to myself most of the time for practice without distraction and study, and I had great sex everyday, and even a threesome with a good friend.

Tanya decided to stay in town for a few days longer. Having accepted couchsurfers for a long time coming I already told two girls from Germany that they could stay at my place. This was not a problem because Tanya was spending 2 nights at David’s for every one night at mine.

When the couchsurfers arrived I was very hungry! I had spent most of the day doing yoga, studying, and writing. I offered to meet the girls at the subway and to take them out to dinner. From the first time I heard their voice on the phone I was annoyed with them. It was partially that I knew their presence was going to impede my chances of getting laid, partially related to the fact that they were an hour late and my stomach was digesting itself, partially due to the confusion caused by their poor English, and partially because they seemed just plain dumb… Upon meeting them at the bus station my first words were “Hey! I’m Daniel! Ready to eat!” to which they replied “Can we stay at your house”… I said “Yes, of course”, but what I wanted to say was “What!?! Are you fucking stupid? We have already gotten past that point!”

David came to eat lunch with us and was dumbfounded by the girls as well. I kept wanting to write off their silliness as being due to their lack of English fluency, but I kept finding more and more idiocy. It is odd to me, but understandable they thought that “spending the night on the great wall” meant finding a hostel near the great wall, but after David and I went into details about climbing steep sections, hiking for hours, the necessity of a sleeping pad, etc. I was really surprised to watch them packing cell phone chargers… I reminded them that there was no electricity where we were going, but I think they brought the chargers anyway; they certainly brought a lot of other useless heavy crap.

We left late for the wall. My work kept me over an hour when I was hoping to leave, I stayed because work has been unstable lately and I need to fill up my schedule. My class that day was about marginal cost/benefit analysis; it should have been a course in the sunk cost effect. At whatever time, after wading through Beijing traffic, waiting for over half an hour in a bus line, and the hour long bus ride we arrived at the city where my ‘friend’ the taxi driver was waiting for us. Another hour and a half later, after the sunset I so desperately wanted to see, we arrived at the small town with the trailhead to the great wall. Somehow, and I am still confused about this, we ended up at the wrong trailhead. It was not a problem per se, but it would have been if it had rained because there where no shelters in the area. The hike up in the dark was awesome! At first I was disappointed with myself for forgetting my headlamp, but later I couldn’t help thinking of Jaz as I cursed Tanya under my breath for using her headlamp in such brilliant moonlight. Tanya set the pace and the Germans kept up pretty well.

Once we reached the wall Tanya and I slipped off into the darkness to find some alone time as the Germans ate their dinner, and after our explorations we set up camp and told stories before sleep. The night was very pleasant. Hours flew by along with bats hungrily pursuing the various not-mosquitoes also enjoying the cool mountain air. I set my alarm for 4:30 which was unfortunately only three hours after we finally made it to sleep. Even if it was the shortest rest of the past 6 months, which it wasn’t, it was the most thorough. I woke feeling as fresh as the air at 4:10, just about first light. After a few moments I woke Tanya and the Germans and we climbed to the top of the guard tower with our breakfast to await the dawn. And it was glorious! I am more of a sunset person then a sunrise person… but I always do love them when I see them!

As we strolled on the back of a sea dragon over tumultuous crests of mountains rising above the steam from an ancient boiling ocean I was filled with peace broken only by the occasional fit of wonder or laughter at the Germans who where carrying one pack among them with far too much bulk and weight and more often then not saying something utterly retarded. I forget many of the gems, but not all of them. This one I remember because it was so long in coming...

Sara kept asking me questions about why the wall was constructed in the way it was. “Why does it follow the ridges”, “Why is it so tall”, “Why does it go to the highest peaks”, and so on. My answers were almost always the same, each time going into a little more detail. Basically I said it was so that people could better see enemy coming from the sides, shoot arrows at them, etc. After a sporadic conversation of over an hours length she said, “I just can’t believe that this is the easiest place to put a trade road”. I was stunned, Tanya’s jaw was on the floor, and I just simply said “The wall is not for trade, it’s for defense.” She was only slightly surprised by this fact. She obviously wasn’t paying attention to my remarks about being amazed that Mongolians were such bad asses that the Chinese had to build such an impressive wall out of terror and the annoyance of getting their women stolen… I asked her how much about China had she studied before coming to China. She had only read about modern China… All in all, considering my feelings, which had shifted from annoyance to pity, I was not very condescending. Even when Sara looked as if she was about to die from exhaustion but still would not let me carry some of her weight. When I finally stopped in front of her and took her pack using kind words and a little force, I opened it to find two purses filled with only god knows what, and not only warm cloths for the night but a full change of cloths. I felt continuously guilty for not preparing the girls enough, but I am not sure how much more I could have done aside from packing for them.

By the end of the hike all three girls were very tired. I had overestimated their ability based on what gigantic packs they all brought to my house. I would never want to carry a pack as large as any of theirs from a hotel to a taxi! But girls need there stuff, I guess… The girls were exhausted, but I was feeling vibrant and alive. The slow pace of the hike had let me appreciate the small details of the wall which I had missed on other trips as I tried to keep up with Bryan.

When we came off the wall, again at Mutianyu, among all of the drivers asking if we wanted a taxi was a man who called out to me using my Chinese name! I was very confused for a fraction of a second. The situation became clear before he explained it. My driver, his friend, was unable to come and so sent him in his stead. The driver was as nice as my regular driver. He stopped at the cheapest places around so that we could buy water and fruit on our way back home, and of course offered us a fair price without the need for haggling. This friendship of course ties back into the beginning of the blog and therefore marks the end of the blog.

不到长城非好汉

He who has never been to the Great Wall is not a true man.

Since ancient times the great wall has been a symbol of China. The First Emperor of China was quite a bad ass. Among other crucial unifying edicts, he forced the recently emasculated warlords to tear down the walls between the seven regions and to strengthen the northern wall that protected the new empire from the Huns. The vision of the First Emperor was profound, and very controversial. He pioneered the necessary administrative and logistical practices that would allow for what has now become the Peoples Republic of China, and he did it by many of the same means the current administration has. Land reform, censorship, and strong rule by a central government have never been popular practices. As similarly echoed by a recent predecessor he said "A thousand may die so that a million may live."

After three assassination attempts he died on a search for a magical elixir of life. As you may know he was buried with an impressive entourage of clay soldiers near his capital, now called Xi'an. As forebode by the sentiments of the great Chinese philosopher poet Chuang Tzu the empire lasted but a day as his son and conniving advisers were not able to keep the empire from falling apart, even through their cruelest efforts. My summation of his poem follows: 'In our greed we tend to bundle and lock our things up... This just allows a bigger stronger thief to come and take the whole wad.'

All told, the moral of the story is that China one awesome wrapping along what in earlier times was it's northern border.

The moral I guess is pretty weak, flimsily leading into me telling you about my most recent trip to the great wall…

It is currently exam season for Chinese students. Here in China suicide is the leading cause of death in young adults so I can't be sure that I had almost no classes this weekend because my students were actually taking tests... but the fact of the matter is that I had Sunday off! With my free time I decided to join two fellow teachers and one awesome couch-surfing traveler on a leisurely stroll along the great wall. We arrived a little late due to general disorganization, and had to pay double our normal rate with our normal driver due to lack of communication on our part. For the whole trip little snags kept tripping us up, but nothing big, nothing bad.

Once we hit the trail we quickly discovered that one of our companions has asthma, because of this Bryan, David, and I took most of her weight between us. In order to do this David had to use her pack because his was too small. Unfortunately the girls pack was very uncomfortable on his hips so Bryan and I took some of his weight.

When we arrived at the wall we found there a pretty chill Chinese dude up there selling bottles of tea, beer, water and ice cream. After a little rest we decided on our way, towards the tourist trap. This way we would have one fairly tough day and then an easy day ending up where there would be many taxis, buses, etc. The other direction would take us along a more difficult path towards a small town where we would have to call a taxi all the way from Beijing because I had lost all of our taxi numbers. That would be very expensive. Additionally, the route we chose took us past my favorite part of the wall!

Just before the most beautiful part there are two difficult climbs. Bryan has the greatest stamina among the four of us so he was in the lead. I am often in the back so that I can watch everyone, especially on the hard parts.

The strap on Bryan's new DSLR camera case (made in China) had just broken, but he tied it securely without a hitch. It would hardly be worth mentioning if not for the fact that during the first complicated climb the snap snagged and popped open flinging Bryan's new DSLR camera out and down the mountain. David, right behind him, thought it was a rock and ducked out of the way. Tanya could not catch it from where she was. And I caught it "on the bounce".

After close inspection we turned it on and discovered that the camera, though falling, rolling, and crashing down 40 ft of the great wall still worked! After wiping the very large white spot left by smashing against the limestone off the lens we discovered only a very small scratch. Aside from superficial damage the only other injury was the loss of an easily replaceable dial.

Two minutes later we came to the really difficult part. It is really not that difficult for me, but the others find it so. At this place we took off our packs and daisy chained them up the mountain. "We" being everyone but me. I kept my pack on for an extra challenge. Next I did something that was very stupid, and a little embarrassing. We were near the top of the cliff when Bryan passed up his pack again and instead of asking him to take it down and pass it back up in a different way I grabbed it by the strap that holds his sleeping pad on. Once I was holding the entire weight the strap broke. Luckily Bryan caught the pack, and luckily he did not fall off! I still feel really bad about that. Once I had the pack, partially out of humiliation and partially because I was really frustrated with the obstacles in my way, I threw it on my shoulder and climbed the rest of the way with one hand. Tanya was very impressed, "Wow! How did he do that?" She asked. Bryan, with unruffled class responded "It's all about the finesse." I don't think he intended to sardonically point out my brutish emotional response to a difficulty that may have been better handled with patience, and that's certainly not how Tanya perceived his comment, but I thought it poignant.

Soon we all forgot about both the camera and the pack, for once we turned the next corner we had entered into a magical wonderland where the wall sweeps round a great jolt of rock from out of the mountain, and bends again following the edge of a deep fissure, leading us all the while towards the ruins of a simple yet exceptional guard tower aside spires of limestone garnished with delicate trees struggling for life. At some point along this route Tanya mused on the fact that the wall was built for war, and wondered if the laborers could appreciate the beauty of what they were doing, or if they could imagine foreigners coming from worlds away to see at once the power off man and the grandeur of nature. Writing this I have to imagine that many of them could, even if they were far from their home and loved ones facing on one of the most difficult tasks man has ever confronted.

As they say "after the ecstasy, the laundry.", and so it goes. We had a quick conference to asses whether we were going to make it to our desired camp spot, decided we could if we busted ass, and prepared for the hump.

We kept a steady pace for the next two hours and arrived just before sunset. At the entrance to the tower there was an old Chinese lady charging five kuai for the use of a wooden ladder. When I heard this I was indigent. I decided to climb in threw the window. It took me a good few minutes to fully asses the situation; two people yelling at me not to do it, one in English and one in Chinese; A pack with food and water weight for two; and A 30 ft drop to my certain doom... No problem. After groping around for all the hand holds necessary while still standing on the wall I pulled myself over the nothingness and found my way into the tower with ease.

I will not forget the next two sights for all my life. First, David and this Chinese woman glaring at me with wonder, and then an exceptionally hot foreign girl telling me she would be changing cloths in the next room over! Walking up to the roof of the tower I was very disappointed to find a crowd of people. On every other hike we had done we had met at most five people, and never camped near anyone. Never the less, there we were at our camp spot with no less then 15 people! The difference this time is that we are now in peak tourist season, and Zhengbeilou (our camp site) is the most famous place to take pictures of the great wall. My disappointment was only slightly mediated by the fact that almost half of them were very attractive young women, but it soon completely disappeared when I discovered that all of them were very friendly and fun. I talked and joked with the group of photography students as my friends snuck off into the darkness to do what ever sneaky things happen in the darkness...

Food is always the best part of camping. Sure, the beauty of the scenery and the intensity of exertion can both lead to almost spiritual experiences… but the food is always divine.

The Mexican photographers shared some of their extra food as we waited for Bryan to finish cooking our meal. It was presented to me by seriously one of the most beautiful women I have ever met in my life! I was so very disappointed to find that the whole group was on a whirlwind tour of China and I would likely never see her again. No big deal, the odds that the most beautiful girl I ever meet is going to find me attractive enough to do more then a little flirting are low.

As we started preparing for bed we found that Bryan's sleeping bag had disappeared. Assuming that it had fallen off the wall I offered him to share my bag. I was slightly amused and slightly saddened that I was surrounded by such beautiful women and I was cuddling up next to a dude. Really cuddling too, the wind was quite strong and any space between us let cold air come in. I tried to spoon him for a few minutes for warmth and to reduce wind exposure but I couldn't stand his smell, I preferred being a little cold to sleeping with his BO. In the morning I found that though a little cold, I may have gotten the best rest. Among the common complaints of rocks on the hard floor there were more serious complaints coming from David. All he brought was a blanket and a poncho; he was not at all prepared for the wind and did not get a wink of sleep. He spent the whole night pacing up and down the wall to keep himself warm.

Once the Mexicans started waking up David scouted around their sleeping area and found Bryan's bag. The had not even slept under it, hey had slept on it. At first I was pissed, but once I realized that they had no idea what was going on or whose equipment was whose I could only laugh. Bryan, who hardly slept at all, then happily curled up in his new found comfort to catch a little sleep, I wrapped my bag around me and sat up for a little meditation, and David continued his pacing...

While waiting for Bryan to cook breakfast I offered massage clinic. David was very sore from his ill fated attempts at sleep, and Tanya has a persistent shoulder problem. David had never had a massage from a man before but was tempted by Tanya's endorsement, and was of course urged on by pain and stiffness. He was of course very impressed to find that massage can be more then just a great way to get into girls pants, it can also occasionally offer almost instantaneous if not complete alleviation of common discomforts.

Not believing in but hoping for a way into some Mexican pants I of course offered a massage to any of the photographers. After breakfast one of the guys apologized for wanting some work done on his shoulder. I was happy to help him and gave it all the attention it deserved. A little while into the massage the one amazing woman came to watch and told me that the man I was massaging was her brother. In retrospect I am very happy that I am never shy around women I like. Though I can only think of 4 or 5 other women I have ever thought were so beautiful I did not feel even the slightest bit uncomfortable. I felt strong and capable, yet completely rapt in her beauty. After the massage the Mexicans left as my group continued to lazily prepare for our day.

The second day's hike was very short and fairly easy with only a few steep areas, none requiring actual climbing. The only tricky part is the Ox Horn. The Ox Horn is very peculiar for two reasons, the first being it's shape and the second being its construction. It looks like it would have been easier to fill in the valley with stone then to run along the ridges used to connect this part of the wall. Bryan thinks the only reason they did it this way was because it is totally bad ass to have a section called "The Ox Horn". It is long and unreasonably steep, and worst of all... They did not build in steps! Flat pavers at around a 75% grade could not be easy for anyone, let alone an army! I imagine one of them falling and the troop of them tumbling like dominoes!

After the Ox Horn we quickly got to Mutianyu, the second most visited part of the wall. It is pretty bad. If you think the Chinese can fuck up anything you just wait to see this; the views are unspectacular, the wall is completely 'restored' to better then new condition, and the place is swamped with people. Of course, the closer you get to the cable car the fatter they get, and the more it looks like a Disney theme park waiting queue. I don't think you can understand how amazing the wall is when it looks like it was built a few years ago, just another project sold to the lowest bidder...

Luckily, as bewildering as it is, David waited to get to the freshly paved wall to injure his foot. At first it was just uncomfortable and he refused my offer to carry some of his stuff, but before long he could hardly walk and so I carried his pack slung across my chest like a girl carries a purse. Just like that. Many of the Chinese I passed commented “啊你很厉害!” (wow, you are very powerful.) It was quite cute really.

When we made it to the parking lot our old taxi driver found us! He is pretty lucky for us. We first met him on the bus one day on our way to the wall. As I was talking to him Bryan was told me not to waste my time talking to him. Bryan has, as have I, that one can rarely trust the advice of locals. Once we got off the bus my new Chinese friend told me he could take us to the wall for well under the best price Bryan had gotten before! Anyway, he recognized us this day and asked us if we wanted a ride to the bus into the nearby town!

I was very Happy to take off my pack and start the long journey back home Wudaokou.

A journey not worth recounting.

喝什么茶？Drink what tea?

This is from an email to a friend. I have added a lot and subtracted a little.

My life here is about as far from my life in Seward as life could get!

I hardly exercise. I don't do yoga or meditation. I rarely go hiking. I never go hiking alone. I often go drinking. I rarely pass on hanging out with my friends in order to relax and be alone. I am learning a little bit of Chinese. I go between feeling satisfied with my slow progress and feeling completely dejected at my utter incompetence.

I eat tons of great food! Everyday!

The only Chinese I know is that that is around and about food or tea. (although today I did have a waitress comment on how poor my Chinese is.) I also drink copious quantities of quite delicious tea daily. I have learned most of the Chinese that I know in a tea shop with a great middle aged man who speaks no English. He even gave me my Chinese name 飞虎 (flying tiger). Unfortunately his landlord will not continue to rent him space because the area that I live in is quickly being gentrified. Although that shop is no longer around I still make it down to the tea market once a month or so. You would love this market! It is insane. It is probably about the size of downtown Seward, maybe a tad smaller, but with maybe more tea shops then then there are buildings in all of Seward, and a population that certainly far exceeds that of Seward, even on the 4th of July. I usually spend four to six hours sitting around with two of my good friends drinking all kinds of different teas. I know more kinds of tea now then I would have thought existed, and I have forgotten the names of far more...

The whole experience is a pleasant one. Except for the first bit when they try out their English on you and grab at you... "Hello, Try some tea!?!" or just "Tea! Sit!" Of course half of the time the words are spoken almost unintelligibly. I have learned not to go to any of those shops, it is better to find an older man or woman who seems almost completely disinterested in your existence. They are the good ones who know what they are talking about and are going to be more patient with the fact that I don't understand half of what they say.

The next step is to find a tea that you want to try. This is getting more and more difficult as I am becoming more and more familiar with more and more of the common teas. By the way "越来越", something like our "more and more" is pretty common in Chinese so they love to use the saying "more and more". Anyway, once you find a tea that you want to try then you have a seat at what is more often then not a large ornate tea tray with all manner of tea pots; funny little bowls with lids, or without; cute little clay statues of feet, pigs, dogs, rabbits, dragons, or frogs; a stand of traditional tea utensils, one looks like a paint brush, another a small set of tongs, and a few others. I prefer when the shop keeper pulls out a range of the selected tea. 铁观音 "Iron Goddess of Mercy", or more accurately (the One) Observing the Voice of the Chinese People, is one of my Favorites. There are of course legends about this tea but in addition to the fluff there are many levels of quality. The cheapest you can find at any Asian market in the US, here they cost about $1 for a bag. The higher end ranges all the way up to around $136 for the same amount. Of course I only drink on the higher end of the scale... In the $10 a bag range. I have not tried anything much more expensive, but for $10 I am drinking amazing tea! So, what I prefer is for the owner to pick out a few different varieties around the $10 mark and brew two of them at a time until I settle on one of them.

I guess for a proper education in tea the first thing you need to know is that there is only one basic tea plant. From that one plant the Chinese make six basic types of tea. Red, Green, White, Yellow, Oolong, and Pu'er. Many but not every tea master includes a seventh variety,maybe you can guess it? Jasmine Tea. Everyone I am sure is familiar with at least 3 of these; green, jasmine, and "red tea". What we call black tea is what the Chinese call red tea. Some of you may be familiar with white tea and oolong tea as well. Let me tell you now though, unless you are going to a Chinese tea shop and getting really good tea, it's probably not fair to even call what your used to drinking "Tea". Well, at least not "茶“, but I guess none of you probably do.

First of all, the black tea we drink is mostly from India, and though I think it's good, I love it in fact, and sometimes order it here in China actually... But It is so different then Chinese red tea that I think they should be called different things... hmmm...

I don't really care much for red tea myself. It has taken me many months of exploration before I recently, finally, found a few varieties that I like.

Green tea is awesome, but if you only drink green tea from a bag or something else unspectacular, the likes of which you you will find easily in the United States, you are really missing out.

White tea I am also not crazy about. I like the cheap white tea you get mixed with fruit in bags in the United States better actually.

Yellow tea is very similar to green tea and I still know very little about it. It is more bitter and much less common then green tea.

Oolong, or dark dragon tea, is by far my favorite variety. Among oolongs there are two that are far and away the most well known. Da hong pao and Tie guan yin would likely be the only two oolongs to make almost everyone's list of "the ten great teas of China" To me, quite erroneously, I consider these two to mark the two main kind of oolong teas; smoked, and unsmoked. I make this retarded distinction because I mostly drink tea from one area of china and this is a large distinction in the tea of the area. Two other remarkably distinct varieties are ginseng oolong, and milk fragrance. Ginseng oolong is predictably covered ginseng powder, so by fallacious logic we can conclude that the milk smelling stuff is covered in milk powder, or at least soaked in milk? Maybe they make it like jasmine tea, leaving the milk and tea in the same area and then separating them so that the smell stays? Wrong again. The actually water the plants with milk! Fucking crazy right? The stuff kinda tastes like butter.

Pu'er is something altogether different. If you are into tea you may have come across it, but if not you probably are not missing anything. The two kinds of Pu'er are so distinct in flavor and character that it is a little surprising that there distinctions are not more linguistically fundamental. After you go through the various processes required to make Sheng (raw) pu'er you have the option to basically start composting the stuff and vuala! Shou (hand) pu'er! If you ask me the composting is pretty necessary. Sheng pu'er not only tastes bad, if hurts my belly if I drink to much. Shou pu'er on the other hand, after some warming up to it, is really pretty great. I didn't like it at first, kinda thought it tastes like dirt, but my old tea master used to drink it all day, so I have gotten used to it.

Enough about tea already! Jesus Christ!

A day at work, or a few hours at least.

Yesterday was a chill day, maybe a little too chill for my pocketbook. I had two students cancel class so I only worked about 4 hours.

I woke up this morning somewhere around late o'clock. My first student was one of my cancellations. After my morning class I rushed back home hoping that my couchsurfers would still be home. They had already left so I took a nap.

I woke up just in time to run off to have a quick lunch of 饺子 (dumplings) before getting to work. I don't know if they were exceptionally excellent or if I was just hungry... They are always pretty good.

Both of my students yesterday are really bright interesting people. The first student is a middle aged gentlemen from Beijing. His English is really pretty good except for the fact that you can't understand him through his think accent half of the time. He also has difficulties catching long sentences. He works for two companies presently. One of them is a joint venture between Pannier and a Chinese government owned company. He is working on GMO rice with that company. The other company is working on making a 'natural' artificial sweetner. Because his boss is the chairman of both of these companies he is only getting paid by Pannier, and for this reason Pannier has told him that he has to choose between them. The three main factors in his decision were money, position, and politics. Choosing the Chinese company he has been offered a little less money, a much higher position (vice president) and the sense of ease that comes along with knowing that he is working to strengthen China rather then to help "westerners" control the worlds entire seed bank.

I have only had two classes with the second student so I don't know much about him yet. When I asked him about government censorship he made a pretty strong stand in favor of censorship. More to come on that I am sure.

After work I went out to dinner with my surfers and lost my cell phone... I am not happy about it. Don't really want to talk about it actually...

Happy Fathers Day

After six months of not owning a computer and using my telephone, or the work computers, for occasional email access I have finally broken down and bought a little netbook. My telephone does most everything that a computer can, but using it is terribly slow and awkward. I found myself rarely answering emails, and almost never calling home. After not calling home for mothers day and Merrin's birthday I felt sufficiently guilty to go out and buy a damned computer. It has been nothing but a royal pain in the ass since I got it, of course. First of all it was all in Chinese, and the microphone would not work. After several attempts at installing an English version of Windows I gave up and put in Linux. That flew like a rock for a few days, but I still couldn't get the microphone working. I installed Skype and had a silent chat with Merrin for about an hour. Quite like the good old days, she remarked.

Now, in what seems to me to be a fairly mainstream mind state, it blows my fucking mind that I stopped talking for so long... But that's another story.

I finally broke down and went to 中关村 the biggest tech district here in Beijing and overpaid for some guy to install Windows. Now it works... Mostly.

Oh shit.

I worry that I have almost lost your attention and I haven't even said anything interesting yet.

Ok, the last time I checked in was about three months ago. I had just left my job with the au pair company and was starting my new glamorous life as an English teacher. That's right, English with a Capital T. Lculily you hardly need to be able to speak English to get a job here in Beijing. I have met Nigerians teaching here who are incomprehensible over the clammer of your average bar. These dedicated young men, when not selling drugs at said local bars, are teaching children how to be misunderstood by English speakers everywhere.

The moral of the story is: I can teach English like a Bad Ass even though I can not spell, have no idea what the difference between a gerund and a participle is, or where to put my prepositions at.

I don't work very much of course. I spend most of my time loafing and moaning about how much my life sucks, but all and all I can't complain... If I did nobody would listen...

The little work that I do do however is pretty fun.

Let me lay it out for you. (You smell'n what I'm step'n in?)

On Monday I teach 5-7 little brats. They're kinda cute really, but their behavior is almost as bad as mine was when I was a child, haha, jk.

This last week my teachers assistant, who does most of the work but gets paid shit, was not there... Wholly shit. Fuck that. I need to learn something about discipline or I might as well jump out a fucking window. The owner of the company had to come in to help me control the kids for the first half of the class period. I was so embarrassed! Well about as embarrassed as I could get. All that yoga and meditation I used to do hasn't left me with a calm mind per se, but it has left me with a general sense of apathy. I can only really give a shit about what someone thinks until habit makes remember my breath for a few stray seconds, then I remember that everything is comprised of utter bullshit, or emptiness, depending on how you look at it.

Luckily I'm not stupid, after the break I had them straightened right up. They were tip top for when the boss came in to check on me the next time. Little fuckers. I also teach them on Wednesday (a word that I can't remember how to spell for the life of me).

Aside from the occasional substitute class for that school all of my other work is on the weekend.

As some kind of divine punishment for my terminal laziness all of my free time is when the rest of the world is working, and vice versa. On top of that, I have to wake up ass early in the morning on Saturday and Sunday after a night of partying to go to work. My old definition of ass early was around 4am at which time I would wake up and thoroughly clean my every orifice before doing yoga and meditation. Now, I often don't go to bed until around that time on a Friday or Saturday night in preparation for my 8 o'clock wake up call. I hardly do yoga or meditation anymore and my mood and body both suffer heavily for it.

Anyway, When I get to work I sit in a little box and talk to (usually) interesting people about a variety of topics for a set period of time. It's all one on one, it's all pretty chill, the job is insanely easy, but it makes me feel somewhat like a prostitute. After their time is up I get my tickets and they leave.

So, that's a quick look into my current life... Stay tuned, I'll be writing more.

In fact for my fathers day present I am going to start writing much more often. Maybe not blogging everything, but I would like to start writing almost everyday. The only thing Dad has asked of me for a long time is to write. As the shitty son that I am I of course have not been writing, but maybe I can do a little more?

Well, in the words of some old dead guy...

     Indeed, indeed, Repentance oft before

   I swore---but was I sober when I swore?

   And then and then came Spring, and Rose-in-hand

   My thread-bare Penitence apieces tore. 

My Third week with a Chinese Family.

One of my main goals with my Blog posts that I wrote for HHS was to introduce some of the difficult aspects of being an au pair while still giving it a positive feeling. This is the post where I get to be brutally honest. In the next post I will have to resolve the tensions further and make it more fluffy then I actually feel in order to convey the proper feeling. As you may well know, I have difficulty doing anything that seems to me to be dishonest, and you may ask yourself "how can he feel ok with that?". The answer is has two aspects. On the one hand I am becoming Jaded and less principled. After all at the time of writing this I had practicably no money, and more then half of that no money was my deposit at HHS... On the other hand I feel like although the au pair program is not for me it would be great for the right person. By being less then perfectly honest maybe I can help that person find what is right for them? There is a story in the Mahabharata of a man who after telling the truth to thieves is now roasting in hell. We "must be like the swan who can drink only the milk out of a bowl of milk and water". It is ridiculous of course to believe that swans can do this demonstrating that Indian people are just as silly as Chinese people...

Third Week:

Now, cultural shock has begun to permeate my entire life. I woke up in the morning and wondered why I didn’t move to Hawaii with 3 of my close friends. I was longing not just for the warmth and beauty. I was sad not just because I missed my friends. I was missing “home” not just because life in the United States is so easy, but also because I hate this place. I hate that everything is so dirty and loud. I have never been in such an unfriendly place. When I tried to ask for directions on the street yesterday people walked wide around me. It seems like the only time they are not staring at me is when I need help. I have been immersed in three languages that I could not speak well, or at all, before coming to China, and I have never had this experience. In my orientation I was told, “Your Chinese friends will be the nicest people you have ever met, but never expect anything from someone who you don’t know.”

Things with the family are also starting to be less pleasant. Bob and Sam often argue at dinner and the other day the mother yelled at Bob almost continually while kicking his things around the house all morning until I brought him out to the mall for his English lesson. I told my friend and she referred me to the book Tiger Mom. Of course not all families will be the same and I am told that the way children are treated will be different if they are boys or girls and also depending on their age. I recommend looking at it or at least reading a synopsis and asking the family about how they discipline their child. Discipline notwithstanding, Bob often acts like a spoiled brat. He is always trying to tell me what to do, and he no longer likes to study English. During class he covers his face, pretends to sleep, or doesn’t say anything at all. I told Sam, who told the mother, that I am not an English teacher and I am not going to try to teach him English if he refuses to learn. I was told not to play with him for the rest of the day and he spent all day doing his school homework. He has also stopped practicing yoga and kung fu with me. He thinks it is too hard. Since he can’t do what I can after 10 years of practice he won’t try. I told him to take it slow but he is too proud.

I also had my first personal experience of Chinese communication extremes with the family. In the second week I was told that the internet is only 4 hours a day and for more time we pay extra. I was told not to worry about it as long as I turn the computer off at night. Just the other day Sam got home and walked directly into my room and started yelling at me about the internet. I calmly reminded him of what I was told and after some “discussion” with me talking and him yelling I decided to take a walk. After 3 hours of walking I ended up at the university. I walked by a group of people hoping that they would notice me, they didn’t. I walked around for a while and decide to join the group. Immediately they started talking to me in English! I spent an hour talking until I got to cold and hungry. I got home just before midnight. The mother answered the door with a note from Sam saying she was sorry for Sam’s yelling at me. The next day I told my friend about it. She has not spoken to Sam since the fifth day of my stay. “He was yelling at you!?! In English!?! When I met him he could hardly say “hello”. Sam, like many young Chinese, know a lot of English; they just can’t speak very well. I have been amazed at how fast Sam’ English has improved. I wish my Chinese was improving so quickly.

This event marks roughly marks the end of my third week, and also a positive turning point in my stay. I was not upset about the internet of course. I would not even have been able to use the internet much if they had not bought a computer for my room. Even though they said it is for Sam he rarely uses it. I was only upset because if using the internet was a big deal why couldn’t they say that? Why did they have to wait until they got so frustrated that they had to yell at me about it? Maybe the yelling is a sign that I am now really part of the family.

Another week in paradise.

Here is another Blog I wrote for HHS and below is an excerpt from an email to a friend.

On the au pair emotional chart the au pair is expected to have a sharp decline in happiness during the second week. I would like to think that I would be an exception to this, but as predicted things are beginning to be more difficult for me. Things are still going really well with the family, and I have even met some friends here in town, but other things are beginning to drag on me. I find culture shock is like an earthquake, you may feel a tremor here and there, but underground where you can’t see it there is a tension building, and all of a sudden something shifts and then the roof falls in on you as if you were in a Sichuanese schoolhouse.

Chinese people don’t seem to have the same value for plans that I do, and when all my plans got thrown out the window without my consent I got very angry. My Chinese friend said she has never thought about it before. “Maybe it’s because we don’t have tenses expressed in our language in the way you do? Anyway there is nothing we can do about it.” Luckily none of these problems were in my family so at least my home life is still going well. I spent the first week largely in the house with the family. Now I spend more time out, both with the family and with friends. My host mother, Bob, my new 9 year old brother, and I went to a really cool art and drama museum. I went to another museum with my friend and learned about the local Chinese history. I know very little about Chinese art, and my knowledge of history is confined to politics so I found it all very interesting. Bob is now on break from school so we spend a lot of time together. Sam, the 18 year old son is in his last year of high school. His uncle said, “The life of a pig is better then the life of a last year student.” I agree. He goes to school early in the morning, even on weekends and comes home for dinner and then after my English lesson he studies until late at night when he goes to sleep. Since it is winter Bob and I spend most of our time inside playing cards, soccer, or tag. I am not used to spending so much time inside and I feel like I am wasting away. I never really liked cold winters in the city. Lan Zhou is very cold, not like Florida where I grew up.
I am also beginning to miss my freedom. There is no key to the door, the grandmother is always home to open it, so I can’t go out at night. It is not that big of a deal since I don’t go out that much anyway. I was really surprised when, in the middle of the night, Sam came into my room and told me it was too late and I have to go to sleep. I opened Google Translator an invaluable, however limited, tool and asked him if I was keeping him awake. He said no, so I told him that I would not be told when to go to sleep. He tried to argue but decided that he would rather sleep. I have not been told when to go to sleep again. Also, the pollution is wearing on me, it is a little worse here than in Beijing. I have been coughing every day. When I lived in Thailand I coughed every day for a month but I got over it. I expect to get over it soon; pollution is a small price to pay to see a whole new world. The coughing only really started after I got really sick. After dinner the grandmother got sick and puked up all of her food. I didn’t think much about it and the next night I ate all the leftovers. It was Jiao zi, one of my favorite dishes. I didn’t think about the grandmother getting sick, or the fact that they don’t refrigerate leftovers. I spent that night in severe discomfort. The next day, after the pain stopped all I did was sleep and go to the bathroom. I hardly ate for the next three days.

First of all: I was told that I would spend the weekend in a hotel, but I got picked up by the mother and the HHS translator at the airport. I did not mind this because I knew the whole thing was being arranged spontaneously. The translator hardly speaks any English and comes off as a very odd person. (Later a Chinese friend I met here independently commented that he was very strange). After we arrived at the house everything was great for the first few days. Of course the family expects me to be a live in English teacher and doesn't understand why I would want to leave the house with out them, but I was planning on dealing with each of these issues in turn.

"Before I could finish addressing the first issue about having my own free time I found out that HHS had signed a 1 month contract with the family. My agreement with Michael was that I would only be here for 15 days. I went to the office with the mother to address the issue. I spoke with Michael (on the phone) and the Lan Zhou officers and agreed to stay for at least 18 days and possibly for the entire contract. Before I was done making this arrangement with Michael the manager left the room and told the mother that I would be staying for longer then the contracted month. After my agreement with Michael was settled he spoke with the translator and told him our arrangement. Immediately after speaking to Michael the translator also told the family that I would be in Lan Zhou for longer then the contracted month. A few days later during dinner the family mentioned "our plans" for the spring festival. I told them that I would not be here for spring festival. They told me that I would. I called my translator friend so that I could understand what happened (accounted above) and spoke with Michael again. He said that the translator did not admit to telling the family that I would be here until after the spring festival. I then asked the mother to record her account of the meeting so that I could share it with Michael because he said that he was too busy to deal with it and I should solve it and get back to him. I will speak to him with my translator tomorrow."

In the end I figured out who was responsible, the regional manager, and he got fired.

:P

Ok, now for a history lesson. The topic of todays lesson will be "The life and times of Daniel Clough". Oh, wait...

You will all be glad to hear that I am doing very well in my search for employment and stable living in China. (I can say this because I am sure my enemies do not bother reading my blog)

In a stroke of fortune a friend knew of a place that was opening up the day before I had to move out of my apartment. Not only am I lucky to have found a place on such short notice for a good price, the landlord is her friend and she talked him into letting me pay only for the first month instead of the normal 3 months plus deposit. This is crucial because I do not have money for 3 months plus the deposit.

The search for gainful employment is also going well. So far I have one class teaching in a kindergarten so far and an endless stream of people calling, texting, emailing, msning, qqing or offering me work at random restaurants. I have 1 interview and 3 sample classes this week. Each sample class is pretty much a guaranteed placement, but they are all one on one classes once or twice a week. The interviewer seems desperate. It's a kindergarten looking for a full time morning placement. They were offering 100/hr and I said "No way! I wouldn't wake up ass early in the morning for less then 150/hr!" The next day they called me and said they could pay more!

On top of all that I am also doing piece work for HHS in exchange for Free Chinese Classes. Well really the lessons are free conditional on my friendship with the boss and the piece work is free offered as a condition of my desire to hang out in the office, use the internet and chat with my friends there...

Ok. Here is a blog I wrote for HHS and posted today.

My month as an au pair.

In preparation for HHS sending au pairs to Lan Zhou I have been given the unique opportunity of staying with a family for one month!

I was picked up at the air port by the mother and the customer service representative from HHS. The drive from the airport was surprisingly long. As we drove I got briefed on the town, the family, and the local HHS branch. When we arrived at the house workers were setting up my room. The family had to buy a bed and a desk to convert a hallway ‘room’ into a bedroom. It is a nice room, a little small, but big enough. I usually practice yoga and kung fu before bed and when I wake up and Bob, the 9 year old son comes into my room to practice with me. There is enough room for the two of us and it is so cute.

If have not seen the chart of the au pair adjustment chart I suggest you take a look at it. The first week is called the Pink Cloud Phase, or something like that. Having traveled and adjusted myself to many new situations I am well aware of this curve. The pink cloud phase is great. My first week was perfect, as expected. The family was so excited that I was here and the kids were excited to practice their English and learn! Walking around town everything is new, and being in a smaller city people always look at me and often shout “Hello!” as I pass by, and the family is so happy to show me their home. We ate out every day, trying all of the best foods that Lan Zhou has to offer, and let me tell you, Lan Zhou has a lot to offer. The most famous food is Beef Noodles or 牛肉面. All of my friends in Beijing have asked me, “Have you tried the noodles!?!” Yes, they are that good. I look forward to trying them when I get back to Beijing to taste the difference. Apparently it’s the water here that makes them so good. The best beef noodle shop in town is not that impressive, not like the fancy restaurant that we went to the next night. We met some friends and sat around a traditional round table with a spinning center piece. The food is set in the center and everyone eats either directly from the center or loads their plates from there. The setting was exquisite, the food was divine, and we had three waitresses to fill our cups and care for our every need. After dinner I ran around the restaurant with Bob, Sam, and their friend from school. We played hide and seek and other games as the adults talked.

Good food, nice people, interesting life… What more could I ask for?

P.S. I tried the beef noodles here in Beijing at two restaurants... Not so good.

After three months.

I have been in China for three months now. I have been fairly lazy about writing blogs. I have written several articles that I will post over the next few weeks. Some of them have been written for the company I work for and are fairly toned down when compared with my usual or at least often sardonic tone.

Today is my last day of work at HHS Center. I have decided to teach English instead. For almost half the amount of work I can make Double what I can make at HHS. I do not have a job yet but I am told that it will not be difficult to find one. Actually I have an offer in Xi'an but the pay is only mediocre. I really liked the guy who runs the place. He is a Frenchman who has been in China for 9 years.

I guess I will post the upcoming blogs in Chronological order. Today I will put up two short ones.

The first is one that I wrote for the HHS website. HHS tries to portray a sweetness and light image of the program. All of my blogs for them are attempts to show a more realistic difficult but positive side of China. I wrote the second post immediately after the first because I had to water down my feeling and experience so much during the first post.

I have been traveling for years, for my whole life in a way. Like so many Americans I moved a lot when I was younger. As my mother went to school and looked for work and a good place to raise children my sister and I came along for the ride. Due to moving, or some other strange circumstance, I was constantly changing schools until high school. I learned that moving - traveling - is largely about people. A move across town can be almost as large of a move as to a new country, if they speak the same language and have similar cultural heritage.

A friend asked me the other day, “Why do westerners like to travel so much?” This was after a long discussion about world politics and American vs. Chinese views on foreign affairs. Having been in China for only 3 weeks my mind was (is) still opened to wonder, and thoroughly confused. This openness is why a travel. At the time however I could only think of superficial reasons for travel, the reasons I had thought of before. None of those reasons seemed adequate. The question was like a koan. It has been like a koan to be sure. I have asked myself many times in the past 10 years, “I love this place, I love these people. Why not stay?” In the past few days, every time my mind had a chance to rest the question comes back. This time it was not just for me, but for my people. “Why do ‘Westerners’ like to travel so much?” I have come up with so many new answers; but none of the answers have been as profound as the openness I felt on the subway, about an hour after she asked me that question. Going home, looking around, and wondering “Who am I, and what the hell am I doing here?”

China is an interesting place.

I mean, it’s on the other side of the world, and everybody walks around upside down! Everything is backwards... They drive the wrong way on one way streets, constantly weaving around traffic, and then they park on the side walk. That’s why I don’t drive. I take the subway to work. When I get on the subway someone behind me will always think there is room for one more person. I have learned here in China how much people can squish. The Chinese concept of personal space is very interesting. I have never been so close to people I don’t know before. On top of all that everyone speaks gibberish. No one knows how to talk properly and their writing is just as bad, or worse. They don’t even know the alphabet! Trying to buy food is nearly impossible. I go into a restaurant and point at something on the menu. Then they start with their nonsense. Eventually they realize that I don’t speak gibberish and they bring me some food. The food is OK, I guess. Chicken necks and bugs are not my idea of a good meal, but everyone is starving here and my only other option is rice.

I don’t want to seem ungrateful.

I am happy to be here...

After all…

I could be in Africa.